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#65341 - 04/08/03 09:05 PM Supporting Your Partner or Friend
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
As I was doing some research, I ran across this website and wanted to share it here. It looks like some very helpful resources for those who find they have friends/partners who are survivors of child abuse.


http://www.survivorsswindon.com/partners.htm

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#65342 - 04/09/03 01:47 AM Re: Supporting Your Partner or Friend
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
This one line worried me a little:

Please also know that once he starts healing, he will change, and will be a different person, but the person he ultimately becomes will the person he has always wanted to be, free from guilt, anger, shame and fear, to name a few negative emotions.

Perhaps this is a subject for a different thread but I'm so afraid of changing if I heal. I am worried that my partner will not love me anymore if I change, because he loves me for who I am now... not who I will be someday after I heal. \:\(

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#65343 - 04/09/03 01:54 AM Re: Supporting Your Partner or Friend
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Wow... they have a page on prison rape on that site! They hardly ever have those. I am glad they included it.

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#65344 - 04/09/03 03:41 PM Re: Supporting Your Partner or Friend
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
SP, man did you hit it...!

Quote:
I'm so afraid of changing if I heal. I am worried that my partner will not love me anymore if I change
I know this one...I feel I might not like myself, I will not know myself, the people who knew me as i was, the ways I let them stomp all over me, maybe I will be alone.

All I can say is that people who truly love you will love you for who you are - a growing being, getting stronger and more able to be close.

Shit, at least I hope that is what it is.

Peace,
James

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#65345 - 04/09/03 05:48 PM Re: Supporting Your Partner or Friend
SandyW Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 86
Loc: NJ
Guys...not to worry. As a survivor's wife I can honestly tell you that I love my husband for who he is, not for how he processes negative emotions. His healing can only make our relationship grow, and in the process, knocks some of the "rough edges" off of me. (Oh yeah, I'm really not so perfect after all :rolleyes: ) Change is GOOD!

Sandy


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#65346 - 04/09/03 08:30 PM Re: Supporting Your Partner or Friend
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Don
thanks for that link.
They are one of the better UK organizations doing some good work.

Dave

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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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