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#65262 - 09/29/06 05:25 AM Re: Just feeling angry this morning
ginny1210 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/01/06
Posts: 25
Brokenhearted,

We did go to marriage counseling the first time he had an affair. When we spearate in May he did go to individual counseling for 5 sessions. I was also going on my own. His therapist told him he had two choices: 1. Forgive himself for everyone he has hurt and deal with the CSA or 2. Don't forgive himself and don't deal with the CSA and be unhappy for the rest of his life. He told me at one point it was easier said thn done. In July he did ask me for forgiveness and I did. We gave it one last shot. Then on 9/7 we went to our first marriage counseling session together and he was back at the same place: Unhappy, a bad person, and I deserved better. So that nite he moved out. Since then he has not been back to counseling and he is filing for divorce. I told him about you and your husband tonite. He did not say much. So I guess he has choosen choice 2; unfortunately. Hang in there I hope things work out for you and your family.

Ginny


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#65263 - 09/29/06 05:33 AM Re: Just feeling angry this morning
ginny1210 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/01/06
Posts: 25
Larry,

In response to you statement about his age I knew he has been molested by an uncle at round age 7...But until June of this year is when I discovered that he was molested by a member of the "immediate" family at around age 4...I have no idea who it was; possibly his mother. He made a statement one nite "I am a bitter person, just like my mother!! And I am going to die a bitter person just like her" So it is just a guess that it was his mother; which according to research I have done is one of the most difficult types of CSA to recover from. I tend to agree with you about him feeling "it happened a long time" is not working for him anymore. He made a statement in our one counseling session "I don't care what happened to me when I was four years old, I am just a bad person and this will never change. Larry, I do love him with all my heart, and I will walk this long journey with him, only if he allows me to.

Ginny


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#65264 - 09/29/06 05:44 AM Re: Just feeling angry this morning
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ginny,

Quote:
"I don't care what happened to me when I was four years old, I am just a bad person and this will never change."
That's the feelings of denial, worthlessness and doom speaking, and it's so sad. At the end of the day you are absolutely right. You can't walk this path with him unless he lets you.

As I said, please do stick with us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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