So I need strength to give her space and to be calm (not anxious or nervous) around her. Doing that is going to be very hard.....I guess it will be a test if I need (want) her just for me or if I can also fulfill her needs in a relationship as well.
This is such an honest (from your heart and painful to say I imagine), and (toward your wife) tender, kind and loving statement.
Just as she needs her space for healing, so do you. You can do this, for her, for yourself and for the relationship, one day at a time.