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#65053 - 03/22/03 09:06 AM Give me strength
taipan Offline
Member

Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 57
Loc: CT
I have posted a lot of posts the last two days and I think I have figured out why.....My wife went in for surgery 2 days ago for breast reconstruction, she had breast cancer twice and is now getting the reconstruction done which will help her feel good about herself again. She went to her best friendís house for 2 days to recover because she didn't want me nursing her (we are separated but still living together as housemates). I know her surgery and recovery is all about her and I am glad that she has a great friend she can lean on.
I know that what she needs from me is SPACE. That is the hardest thing for me to do because I love and care about her with all of my heart. I want to hold her and take care of her, I want to share with her the things that I have been learning and the growth that I have done............but what she needs from me is SPACE and a peaceful home in which to finish recovering (she is coming home today).
So I need strength to give her space and to be calm (not anxious or nervous) around her. Doing that is going to be very hard.....I guess it will be a test if I need (want) her just for me or if I can also fulfill her needs in a relationship as well.
So I am going to pray (I'm not at all religious) for strength and give it everything I have to be here for her in the way she needs. If I have ANY hope (I don't think there is but I just love her too much to give up) of her giving our relationship another chance, this will be a big "test". Wish me luck and as always thank you all so much for being there!!!!!! Ed


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#65054 - 03/22/03 10:52 AM Re: Give me strength
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Ed,

Quote:
So I need strength to give her space and to be calm (not anxious or nervous) around her. Doing that is going to be very hard.....I guess it will be a test if I need (want) her just for me or if I can also fulfill her needs in a relationship as well.
This is such an honest (from your heart and painful to say I imagine), and (toward your wife) tender, kind and loving statement.

Just as she needs her space for healing, so do you. You can do this, for her, for yourself and for the relationship, one day at a time.

jer


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#65055 - 03/22/03 11:47 AM Re: Give me strength
Sleepy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 288
Loc: Arizona, USA
Ed,
I just want to let you know that you and your wife are in my thoughts. Take care.
mike

_________________________
"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
--Ursula K. Le Guin

"Mental health is a commitment to reality at all times."
--M. Scott Peck

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#65056 - 03/22/03 02:29 PM Re: Give me strength
taipan Offline
Member

Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 57
Loc: CT
Jer, thank you for your response, I will read it a lot the next few days I'm sure. Youíre absolutely right. Thanks for your support; it really helps me a lot! Ed


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#65057 - 03/22/03 03:19 PM Re: Give me strength
moo2 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 82
Loc: pottsboro,texas
Ed,
I have seen you grow a lot just since you + your wife separated. I know that you can do what is needed for your wife right now. Lean on the Lord + pray hourly for strength from God. The Christians here will be praying for you every day.
I am real glad that you see your wife's needs right now. That is a big start. That is all for now.
WITH MUCH LOVE,
Kim


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#65058 - 03/22/03 10:47 PM Re: Give me strength
taipan Offline
Member

Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 57
Loc: CT
Moo2, thanks for your love and support! I do feel like I have grown and learned SO much in a short time......and it feels good inside, but it feels great to hear it from others. Thank you and everyone else for your kindness and support, it is helping me so much!
Sincerely, Ed


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