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#64844 - 03/04/03 12:54 PM should i tell parents
bayer443 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/04/03
Posts: 3
Loc: st. louis mo
recently my brother told me his secret of 30 years that he was molested by a relative when he was a child. he is a drug abuser and says he is sucidal sometimes. i could not bare this secret by myself, so i told our sister and she like myself thinks he should tell our parents, but he don't want to hurt them and cause hatred in the family. there is a possibility he will end up in prison for drugs or dead. should we tell our parents against his will? he has said we can tell them but he wont. we don't know what to do. he deserves to be free of this secret and what if he dies and then my parents find out, nothing can be resolved for them either for the rest of their lives

_________________________
steve

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#64845 - 03/04/03 02:22 PM Re: should i tell parents
SandyW Offline
Member

Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 86
Loc: NJ
Why don't you propose to him to go with him and the sister who knows to talk to your parents. You don't want to break his trust by going behind his back, even if he said you could at one point. I know its hard to watch someone you love slowly kill themselves if not attempt to or threaten to outright do it. Also, get him to read the posts on this site. He might not be strong enough right now to tell anyone else.

Sandy


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#64846 - 03/05/03 12:07 AM Re: should i tell parents
helpmystephen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/07/02
Posts: 19
Loc: nyc
Dear Steve

i have been in your shoes. I spoke to my brother and told him that our family loves him and that he needed the support of the family. He allowed my to tell my parents and our other brother with out him there, they fell apart. It worked out for the best. My brother is no longer using drugs and has taken big steps. However, my husband is also a victim and will not tell his family. Therefore i bare alot of the emotional burden, which is not easy. Good Luck


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