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#6472 - 09/19/02 12:46 PM 400 Words
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
I could use some help guys. The Editor of the local newspaper has agreed to let me have space to write an article. End the Silence - Begin the Healing,Recovering from male childhood sexual abuse.
My abuse was at the age of 11 and I told on the Priest a few weeks after he raped me. At that time 1961, the church did nolthing,told me that they believed Father R and not me. So I have alse had this with me in my inner mind. I broke the silence again in May and this time the Archdiocese said that they believed me. They have been paying for my T and now have agreed to my requess that they reach out to the other victims.
There will be an community wide meeting to deal with the sexual abuse issues. The Archdiocese will open up their resources to all not just those abused by the Priests. I want to get the victims thinking about healing for weeks before this meeting, thats what the article is all about.
I would like your ideas on what to put into this article. I look at 3 or 4 parts to this, the childhood effects , the man hiding in the silence, and the healing . I know nolthing about PTSD or flashbacks. I have just began my healing so I need ideas about this also.
I look forward to hearing from you all.
Thank Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#6473 - 09/24/02 01:24 AM Re: 400 Words
Gary - CDN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 28
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario Canada
Hi Muldoon:

I like the 3 points you are after but I think before the healing starts, you have to end the silence as you stated in the title. The story has to be told before you move on to the healing. You just can't heal. You have to release the pain and acknowledge the abuse first. As for myself I had trouble verbalizing it. As I fought to acknowledge what happened, the beast fought back with extremely violent nightmares, always with a common theme, reminding me that the decision I made to come forward was bad and I would be severely punished. I went through periods of weeks without a good sleep, always afraid to close my eyes. 46 years old and afraid to go to sleep. That testifies to the control these events have over your life.

Idea's / thoughts to work in:

Childhood effects. For me this is a tally of losses starting with your childhood and the ability to trust. If you trust no one, you keep silent.

As you develop through life you become dysfunctional. I experienced depression, despair, no self esteem, nightmares, memory loss, alienation, sleep disorders etc. etc. The biggest loss I think for me personally was the inability to care about someone. My feelings had been numbed. How can you love if all you have learned through life is not to trust anyone. I allowed people close but they only saw what I allowed them to see. I essentially had constructed a castle-wall between myself and the outside world. Intimacy was sex only. When a girl asked me to describe my feelings I just stumbled and ran for the door. I still stumble to this day. I never married and have no kids. As I stated in my introduction to the group, I feel like I have traveled through life as 2 people and this feeling is only just starting to drift away.

In the next section I think you have to let people know the story has to be told so one can start the healing process. Also stress that they are not alone and there are people out there that will listen. They can be trusted.

As for the healing, I am just starting to feel the joy. I can look in the mirror and I like who I am. At 47 I feel reborn. The abuse happened, it has been discussed and I understand the effects it had on me. Those effects made me into a person I did not like. I am now proceeding forward, each day trying to live my life better and always keeping a good thought.

If I have any more idea's, I will send them off.

Sad point here. This is the first time I have made certain feelings known.


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#6474 - 09/24/02 02:56 PM Re: 400 Words
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Thanks for words I will give them more thoughts toniight and get back to you Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#6475 - 09/24/02 04:16 PM Re: 400 Words
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Muldoon

If you want to use any of the stuff I've written in any posts please do if you think it's any use to you.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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