Has anyone done any of those self-help workbooks and can recommend? I've seen some on Amazon.com where you do one and your partner does the other one and there is discussion, etc. I'm not sure what one is the best for this situation (incest) as my husband is looking at himself as more to blame than as a victim (he was 13 and she 17). He won't agree to therapy right now, but he said he'd do the workbooks with me and then reevaluate his need for therapy. He is counselling with our pastor about this, so its not like the big secret came out and he's all on his own with it. I'm just not sure if its being handled properly. So let me know if you can recommend workbooks for us or if any are blacklisted. For myself, When You Are the Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor: A Workbook for You by Robert Barry Levine looks applicable. If anyone has used this, please give me your opinion. Thanks!!! You guys are a lot of help. I guess you can see I'm over the initial shock now, and starting to take action.

Sandy

Sandy
It's a great feeling to come down from the ceiling, that's where my wife went for a while that's a fact !

I have no idea about the workbooks, but I do know that Mike Lew's book "Victims No Longer" has an excellent chapter for partners.
The book is in my view the best there is for survivors and I know you would both get so much out of it.
Go to Amazon for online booksales via the link from the MS homepage, that way MS get a bit of commission as well.

There are a load of good links to various articles written by professionals and survivors there as well if you haven't seen them yet. Well worth looking at.

That's the best news any survivor can ever hear Sandy, we need all the help we can get, but we like to share what we can as well.

Thanks
Dave

My favorite book for you as a partner would be Allies in Healing. I would highly encourage you to get a copy. It will be good for you and that makes you better for him. I refer to my copy on an almost daily basis. Best of luck!