The strength of Hubby is inspiring, I'm afraid the police would have me behind bars by now.
The 'herd mentality' of a group of guys working together is so powerful. I've been in the same job for 25 years with many of the guys having been there even longer, so I know them well.
I know there are a few hardened racists amongst them, guys who cheat on their wives, petty thieves, good guys, sexist pigs and some I don't even talk to any more.
But put one racist bigot in a room and let him start spouting his views and it's frightening to see how people, who I know dont hold racist views in private, will actually start to agree with him.
Not because they secretly agree, but because they're frightened of stating their decent views as strongly as the racist is stating his.
They know that the bigot rants and raves, is offensive, always has to have the last word, will not entertain any other views, and carries grudges for ever. So it's just easier to mumble some kind of agreement and escape the hassle.
But in a group this takes on a life of it's own and soon degenerates into a real shit flinging session.
I've got to the stage during my SA recovery that I will now argue back as strongly as he puts his views forward, and he then generally resorted to personal insults- and then shuts up when he realises that I dont give a rats arse about being insulted by him because I dont give his opinions any credence anyway.
We now have an agreement - we dont talk ! Most times he leaves the room, which tells me everything I need to know.
And it's also a bit unsettling that so many other guys have said to me that they are really glad I had a go at him.
But I guess that's a positive thing to come from SA , well not so much that but the recovery process, we do learn so much about ourselves. And for that I'm grateful - whatever the cause.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau