I dont have any real words of wisdom for you of "how to get over" the betrayal. For us as support givers to our survivor partners its as hard of a road as it is for our survivors.
For me what I have done tho' is I re entered therapy with my own therapist. He sheds light on my questions & concerns and supports ME faithfully.
I am still very new at this side of the coin, because I am a survivor of abuses SA included. My own lines get very blurry as to what are his issues and what are mine.
When I found out about hubby2's actions (charged with rape) I packed up & left for my best GF's. Stayed for a week & got my own place during that time. We are still living in seperate homes -- but have contact on a daily basis. WE TALK, and sometimes we have to tell each other we aren't in a space to talk just yet because we haven't figured out WHAT exactly is bothering us.
We haven't entered marriage counseling yet, for a multitude of reasons -- but basically after my T appt yesterday for ME it boils down to I am still just plain pissed off at him. It has been over a year since we split, but only a couple months since I found out about his sex addiction.
Support for YOURSELF is very important in this process. We as partners cant do anything magical to change our partners, or their past. However we can have impact upon ourselves.
Allow yourself to be angry -- there is betrayal feelings no matter whether your partner was having sexual activity with a live person, the computer screen, or masturbating excessively.
Only you can answer your questions for you -- there are no hard & fast rules for being supportive or healing with SA.
Keep coming back --- and sending warm thoughts for you.. May Peace Fill Us ~ Wifey1