Lizzie:

YW. I hope things work out for the best for both of you, whatever that may mean.

Speaking from experience, for him that has got to mean him making his recovery from abuse trauma & from sexual addiction, an absolute urgent priority.

This is no excuse for his/any addicts behavior but it's like he's 2 people--his real self & what we refer to in 12 step groups as "the addict." In his case (as is the case with most sex addicts, probably 80-90%), this "addict" is largely the product of abuse. The abuse must be worked thru to find the true self. The addiction must be worked thru to act like the true self.

The work, breaking thru layers & breaking out of patterns, is ongoing. But their are points of "major breakthrough" one of which I had recently (if you wish, find my post of that title)

Therapy will help him immensely if its good therapy. So will any live and/or online support groups, both for survivors (especially this one), and for sex addicts (Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, & other such 12 step groups have online chats & other support). In any case I recommend he find materials on the 12 steps & work thru them, with others if possible.

And you, Lizzie? I guess the best thing for you is to work on your own recovery from your betrayal & the mistrust you now rightly have. There are 12 step (and other) support groups for SOs (Significant Others) of survivors & sex addicts, tho often the best you can find are groups for SOs of alcoholics (AL-ANON)/drug addicts (CO-ANON), which still wouldn't be bad for you.

Eventually the two of you, if you get this far, may want to attend therapy and maybe support groups together as well.

Ok. Enjoy Australia for me. I want to go there more than any country in the world except Italy the land of my roots. Including Tasmania. Taz is my hero. \:D

Take care

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck