in the past few postings of yours I've read your question "am I a terrible mother?" -- for loving this man and my daughter.
a tension of opposites. I am in no way able to judge a person by their thoughts feelings and actions. I do know tho, that you are responding above normal for a very abnormal situation.
MY opinion only -- the reason I say "above normal" is that you are working and seeking answers to some very very hard questions.
I can only speak for myself, but have read many of the postings on here where "mothers" (my own hubbys mom also) ignored and did nothing to protect their children when they saw with their own eyes (mine included) or took an active role in abusing their children right along with their abusers.
A bad mom in my opinion, does not seek the help that you have been seeking --- you are in a very hard spot, but there are avenues of rescue for you AND your daughter.
PLEASE PLEASE follow Ken Singer's advice and contact him via PM or the Stop It Now line, -- explain your situation wholly with not having a job, a home etc.... there are emergency shelters and help available for you. YOU ARE IN A DOMESTIC VIOLENT SITUATION -- no he may not hit you, he may be remorseful and very willing to talk to you about his troubles.... BUT, you are not qualified to take on or help him heal -- only HE and a Professional can do that. Yes, you can love him, but YOU cannot fix him.
Make YOU number one, so that you have energy and resources to help your most important person right now in your life....YOUR DAUGHTER.
I really dont mean to be so harsh --- but there IS emergency housing available and therapy available to you and your daughter.
Your boyfriend, must heal himself, if you are still wanting to continue a relationship to "support him" my suggestion is that you seek help from a qualified therapist who can help you assess the risk factors of staying attached or in contact with the boyfriend -- and if you are able to stay in contact WHAT, the rules would be for that contact and HOW that contact would take place.
Yes, it is possible to love someone who has crossed the line -- I myself still love my hubby tho we've been apart 3 years -- the rules have changed off and on for contact, and I can tell you this much ... and it is dangerous not only for your daughter but for yourself -- you admit to being very co dependant -- if you know this of yourself then you know that you can very easily let your emotions and your mind minimize the damage and danger around you --- WHAT PRICE ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY????
Take ACTION, contact Ken, Call the Hotline, and call for help , ask for referrals for help regarding your living situation --- It may seem like a huge step, and it is -- but NOT taking that step garruntees that you stay where you are and eventually minimizing in your mind "its not that bad" "she didnt see him naked" --- can easily cause you to NOT take any steps at all -- SACRIFICING your daughters safty that much more.
If the house was on fire you would grab that girl and run ..... I'm telling you -- YOU'RE HOUSE IS ON FIRE... call those numbers and get help!
May you be surrounded by strength, peace and help from the kindness of many.