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#63328 - 12/11/04 05:49 PM Sorry...
reesersgrl Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 37
Loc: ny
Hi. I just wanted to apologize. I mistakenly replied to a post on the male survivor forum. I guess I just wasn't paying attention.


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#63329 - 12/12/04 05:14 AM Re: Sorry...
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi, I guess this is the thread you posted to. http://malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=004696 As far as I can see there is nothing wrong with the post it's self. You were just thanking Dave.
If I had my way, friends and family should be allowed to post anywhere on the site they want to. I am only someone working on his problems, but I am willing to take a pat on the back, or some free advice from anyone. If I was one of the big guys here I would reevaluate the no posting rule.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#63330 - 12/12/04 11:30 PM Re: Sorry...
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Thanks, I did see your reply - but given the context of the post I didn't bother to move your reply.

While we do ask that women don't post on the male forums I don't think that little slip up was a problem.

In future when I see a post that gives information I will try to remember to post it Fam & Fri as well, and if you see something you wish to comment on just ask.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#63331 - 12/12/04 11:39 PM Re: Sorry...
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Hey, it is not so bad, the real reason for the rule is that if things maybe said that do not relate to male survivors.

I am only talking because, I believe the rule is one of protection for ones' who may be at risk.

I don't have any issue with this, but you can always reply to a survivor through the PM's.

Suppose the rule is for a reason, but it is not for me to question, it has obviously been put there by the webmaster, the great fred tolson who we all so deeply indebted to, ;\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#63332 - 12/14/04 01:37 AM Re: Sorry...
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
The rule - recommendation really - that women don't post on the Male Survivors forums is because that it is a place where men can discuss their abusive past amongst themselves.

Many men, for different reasons, feel uncomfortable talking about their abuse and current feelings in front of women, and that's the reason for the site - it's called Male Survivor.

In the past a few ....'dicussions' have come about when women have responded to topics in the male forums and unfortunately some of those 'discussions' became quite heated.
So we now respect the feelings of those men and do our best to keep it a 'men only zone'.

But we also know, and appreciate, that many other men are perfectly cool about discussing their issues with women, and indeed many of us welcome their perspective because we're married or in some kind of relationship with a woman. So we have the Family & Friends forum, and for the same reason we have a Gay forum and the open forums.

It is a bit unfortunate that we do have to have some boundaries such as these, but there are men here who have been abused by women, sexually and emotionally, both as boys and men. And it's understandable that they can have a distrust of women, and we do our best to respect their position.
Although we will draw the line at sexism, and try to promote understanding of other peoples views rather than reinforce the isolationist views that someone might hold.

By the nature of each of us being different we will have different attitudes towards different groups of society, so it's never going to be easy to cater for everyone all the time.

My personal view is that we should be able to all get along in any forum, but I know that I am in a position now with my healing where I seek out and welcome views from anyone regardless of sex, race, religion or sexuality.
But I can remember a time when that wouldn't have been easy for me.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#63333 - 12/14/04 06:33 AM Re: Sorry...
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Quote:
Originally posted by reality2k4:
I don't have any issue with this, but you can always reply to a survivor through the PM's.
I know that in the past, when I have read something on the public Survivors forum and felt the need to respond, I have sent PM's. The great majority of the time I have received friendly and interesting responses. No one has ever been hostile or let me know that they were uncomfortable receiving them.

I have made it a personal rule, when PM'ing people I've had no prior contact with, if they don't respond, I don't try to contact them again. I do that in case someone is uncomfortable hearing from me but doesn't want to say so for whatever reason.

I am glad there is a place where abused men and the important people in their lives can come to heal. I take seriously the responsibility that each of us has to exercise respect and restraint in posting, and to make the site safe and supportive for even the very vulnerable. It makes me happy every time I read here, to see how many of us take it seriously.

With that in mind, Vicky, we all make mistakes, and I think it shows class and respect for the group to come and post a genuine apology. \:\)


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