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#62935 - 11/23/04 04:36 AM More education for children?
Kiara Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 6
Loc: Australia
Hi
Just wanting to get your ideas on whether you think that kids need to be more educated about abuse as in, what is a bad touch and giving them a safe place to disclose the abuse?
Do you think it would be beneficial?
Reading the stastistics 1 in 3 are abused which kind of blew my mind!
Thanx


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#62936 - 11/23/04 06:27 AM Re: More education for children?
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Kiara,
I am the father of 3 (15,16 and 18) and we (my ex-wife and I) are both survivor's. We tought our children the difference between good touch/bad touch. Even gave names to body parts that would be ok for a kid to call them. We 'drilled" in to them that if someone touches you that tell and you keep telling till someone makes it stop, and it didnt matter who was doing the touching. That not even mommy and daddy had the right to touch them in these places. Because of this when my daughter was 3 and someone touched her she was able to the cops where he touched her in a way that he couldnt hide from the truth. So he went to jail. The key to stoping this is to protect the children, the best way to protect them is to educate them about it. And to teach them before it starts (hope it never does) that this is wrong and they are not wrong because someone did this. And they need to tell and keep telling and yell it if they have too.

James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#62937 - 11/23/04 05:21 PM Re: More education for children?
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Kiara,

I think educating children about abuse is crucial, but the other part of your post, I would say is even more important:
Quote:
giving them a safe place to disclose the abuse
Children need to have their feelings and opinions respected, they need to feel that nothing they say or do will change the love that they get from the people who care for them. Not just about abuse but about everything.

I teach my kids that even when they get punished, it does not mean that they are bad or that I don't like them, but I don't approve of what they have done. I allow them to express their feelings, and I do not punish them or question them on this, just on their behavior. It is amazing to me how many parents say things like "Oh, you don't really WANT to wear those shoes outside, it's too cold." or "Of COURSE you love your sister, don't be silly." It is better to say, "I know you like your sandals but today you will have to wear warmer shoes" or "You don't have to love your sister right now, but you may not yell at her."

I know it seems far removed from sexual abuse but I don't think it is. If children can't trust the adults in their lives to take them seriously, they're not going to tell their secrets.

Sar


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#62938 - 11/23/04 07:32 PM Re: More education for children?
forlauren Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/04
Posts: 63
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
There are books written for pre-schoolers about abuse. Not just sexual abuse, but emotional and physical abuse as well. It blows my mind that most parents these days let near strangers raise their kids from the time they're just a few days old. I'm not a childhood abuse survivor, but there's no WAY I'm leaving my 1 year old daughter with anyone in this world the way it is today until she's 3 years old and has a big enough vocabulary to be able to tell me what's going on when we are apart.


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#62939 - 11/24/04 02:33 AM Re: More education for children?
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
I think that children are fairly well tought about good touch / bad touch and other things. I do believe that there could be additional education in regards to abuse. What I think is truly lacking is proper resources for the children. Too many people dismiss or don't understand what their kids are saying. Teching children isn't enough. Parents and other adults need to be aware of the symptoms. They also need to listen to the children more. Too many children are treated like property or as second class citizens.

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#62940 - 11/24/04 07:28 AM Re: More education for children?
Kiara Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 6
Loc: Australia
I really don't think enough is done to help protect and educate kids I'm studying psychology and am hoping to get into child psychology and hoping to start some kind of programs for kids! Because I don't think enough is done and I don't think a lot of parents are educated about it, they just assume that it could never happen to them!
My Goddaughter is 5 and i don't know if she even knows about anything like it.
Something needs to be done about it!


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