Dear Concerned --

I recommend you read 'Victims No Longer' by Mike Lew to start to educate yourself on this subject. My first reaction to your story is that you have a right to be CONCERNED. My husband is an SA survivor and I know from personal experience the destructive nature of SA. DO NOT STOP TRYING TO HELP YOUR NEWPHEW!! You are his only lifeline, so keep reading, keep trying to help!!

Please see my post from 12/21/2001 under » Family and Friends » really need some advice and others.

The emotional trauma of SA in "mind-blowing" for my 53 YO husband, Getteddie, so I'm sure your 9 YO newphew is totally confused.

Maybe the parents of the victimized child will not 'roll over' and drop the issue. If that family goes to the child welfare authorties about the incident the social climate is right to trigger an investigation.

Just because your sister has abandoned her own child to LIVE IN THE LAND OF DENIAL doesn't mean you have follow her lead.

Unfortuneately you and your siblings need to be watchful not to leave your own children alone with this 9 YO boy. Damm sad fact of life!!!

Hope you find more allies,

Babs

Thanks for the info, I am trying to do the research and haven't had much luck in finding ways that I could be sure. All the research is also making me sick to my stomach.

My family keeps saying that it is awful to make an accusation with no proof.

How do I get proof?

Now she has told my nephew that his "aunt" is trying to take him away from them.

What if I'm wrong?

I was just informed by my sister that her husband has talked to a lawyer about suing me for slander.

Meanwhile, my nephew has been labeled a "child molester" by kids on the street and I'm concerned of what will happen when he starts his new school in Sept.

I feel wrong and everyone in my family is trying to tell me that I can't accuse my brother-in-law with these things with no proof. Now I think he will just be smarter about it and don't think I will ever get proof. They say I can't say this about someone because of little incidences and a "gut" feeling. I feel so strongly about this, I don't know what's going on, but I think something is terribly wrong.

I have not allowed my children around this man for years and now I feel bad for my nephew. "What things they must be saying to him....now, if something was going on, how could he say something now" I feel like I've ruined any chance of getting real proof, not to mention, losing my sister and nephews.

Thanks for the reply and the advice.