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#62622 - 07/07/06 10:04 AM Me and the Wife, Part Three
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
The next off crew, refit and patrol went well. The wife to be didn't use up my bank account like happens to so many of the guys, so I went ahead and proposed marriage, and she accepted. But soon she was accusing me of fooling around when I went down for refit. Also when ever we fight, she would bring up the girl in the bar, sort of like a ultimate trump card to win the fight. I did six patrols on that sub, and then was transferred to a submarine tender. At first the tender was ok, right after I reported on board we went to the caribbean, it is very nice down there, but I started thinking about my dad who had recently passed away, I had always told dad about the places I went to. It got me depressed thinking about it, so I decided to get really drunk, drunk enough that I would not remember that my dad had passed away. The guys in my department were going to rent a room to party in, so I asked them if I could stay with them, they said yes, that was my mistake. The tender has a mixed crew on it, and I was not used to drinking heavy around girls. I made a fool of myself with one of the girls, I remember giving her a back-rub, the next thing I remember is power-pucking in the room, and the guys putting me in a cab, to be taken back to the tender. It took me a while to accept that I had made a fool of myself with this girl, I had no memory of it, and these guys are the type that pull pranks on you. So I went and apologized to her for what I knew not what I had done. That was the last time I went out with the guys drinking on the tender. I never told the wife about it. She would just use it as more ammunition to be used when we fight. The wife started driving me to work so she could have the car, and noticed that there was lots of women on the tender, so she started in accusing me of cheating on her again. This is now around 1990,we were still having sex two or three times a week, but one time I went limp right in the middle of having sex, not sure why it happen. It could have been due to one of three things, I was doing a lot of overtime for the navy, 12 to 16 hours a day, we had a lot of subs in port to take care of, or it could have been due to built up resentment due to her always accusing me of cheating, or it could have been due to the full hysterectomy that she had in 1983, she had not had any female hormones for the last seven years. I had tried to get her doctors proscribe them, but there had been a report come out that said the female hormones increased the risk of cancer, so they would not give her a pre>
_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#62623 - 07/08/06 01:35 AM Re: Me and the Wife, Part Three
Iwanttohelphim Offline
Member

Registered: 03/11/06
Posts: 92
Loc: Norway
Thanks for shareing your story clifford. I know there is more you need to talk about. Just wanted you to know that we are listening and if and when you would like some feedback, we will try to give you something helpful.


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#346116 - 11/24/10 01:08 AM Re: Me and the Wife, Part Three [Re: Iwanttohelphim]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hello Guys, just a quick update. My wife has Moderate Alzheimer's disease. For the last two years she has been losing weight. She has gone from 145 to 100 to 90 pounds. This march, when she went to 100 pounds she was hospitalized to try and find out the reason for the weight loss, and was then put in a nursing home for a month to recover her strength. She got out, but continued to lose weight. She was living at home, but had got down to 90 pounds when she fell. She had a bleeding stroke, was in the hospital again, and is now back in the nursing home.

In addition to this my sister had a blood clot stroke about a month and a half ago, and is also in a nursing home.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#346128 - 11/24/10 08:26 AM Re: Me and the Wife, Part Three [Re: lostcowboy]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
You do have a lot on your plate. Be well and know that you have support here.


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#346203 - 11/24/10 11:11 PM Re: Me and the Wife, Part Three [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Thanks Ken, had a bit of good news today for a change. Her long-term medicaid was approved today. For the last month her insurance status has been in limbo. The Medicare HMO we use said that medicare would only pay for a week of the nursing home this time, and due to more than 90 days having passed since the last time I had applied for medicaid, I had to reapply for it. That should take some stress off of me.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

Top
#440243 - 07/06/13 08:50 PM Re: Me and the Wife, Part Three [Re: lostcowboy]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hello guys, just letting you know that my wife passed away on January the second, 2013.

These last two years have been rough on me, my wife was a stabilizing factor in my life.

Over the last two years I have done some stupid things, I guess in the coming weeks I will have some new stories to tell.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has come by to help guide this old man on his way through this world.
Thanks,
Clifford Phillips
_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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