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#62306 - 10/15/04 07:24 PM dreams and discovery
forlauren Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/04
Posts: 63
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Lots of nightmares last night. This tall and attractive guy was laughing, smiling, making himself comfortable on my couch. I said "you TOUCH me and I'm calling 911!" He slipped his foot out of one of his glossy loafers and had a gorgeous silk sock on his foot the color of toast and espresso with tiny patterns of sky blue waves. He leaned back with his arms behind his head, his knees wide apart, and the expensively socked foot slowly came toward me and he gently tapped my toe with his. He just grinned and grinned.
Before falling asleep I thought about how the situation I'm in right now reminds me exactly how it felt during being raped by my boyfriend 15 years ago. Right now I want to fight, I want to run, but everywhere I turn all I get is "best keep your cool and not alarm anyone."
I could shoot myself now for calling his dad 3 weeks ago to say "NO MORE PORN sent to my husband" because from what I've read about pedophiles now is that when you suspect do NOT approach them because they will get cautious and hide all their tools of the trade.
This morning I was awakened at 6 a.m. (after an hour and a half of sleep) to the sound of a man, a neighbor, yelling "WHY? JUST TELL ME WHY?" he sounded really anguished.
I feel like a froggie slowly boiling to death and I HAVE been drugged by the heat to where I didn't know to jump
I wish I knew what the plan was


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#62307 - 10/25/04 03:29 AM Re: dreams and discovery
Bernard Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/24/04
Posts: 4
Loc: Illinois
Hi Forlauren,

I hope you are OK. You are in a really difficult situation. I have read all of your posts and you are absolutely right that you are not to blame, you must protect yourself and your children, you must leave him if you can figure out how to do it safely, and you cannot change him.

Have you considered a women's shelter?


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