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#61964 - 09/20/04 07:27 PM Re: Need advice---Accessing danger &Protecting my sons
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
TA,

Quote:
Yup we called the cops they did a report and concluded "lack of evidence". If you see in schools they have those emergancy lights in the corner of all halls. My son actually thought they were video cameras to watch so they weren't bad and told the detective "just get the video out of the camera at the end of the hall, that will show you I am telling the truth"
Hey, but is this not how they get away with it, think about it? As a kid, you never think you will be believed, you are only a kid, they as adults know so much more than you, they can twist you round their little finger.

Because the kid is not taken seriously, and the adult wins, the kid takes it so bad, because someone has done so much an incredible wrong to him, it is a nightmare. My abuse was almost taken the same way, it was dismissed as trivial, I felt like smashing the world to pieces, and taking all the shit out on myself. It is not survivable, but somhow we manage to do it.

For your son to see the perp must be an absolute nightmare, but at least he was outed, mine was a constant thought of terror, as I did not know whether he would take out the threats, so I lived in constant fear of him turning up in my neighbourhood. And to a kid, that really is a perceived threat.

just be strong for him

ste

Dave Lloydy,

Quote:
It wasn't easy getting here, but the less I focused on them the more I focused on my recovery.
I let thoughts of revenge and justice go, which I admit is a selfish thing to do, but who's more important? the survivor or the perp?
Isn't that just it, you just want to get out of the shit, you just have to let thoughts of revenge and all the other stuff, just lie on the shelf.

Revenge and the anger, did so much damage then, but I remember, I was too small to wreak revenge, and it is so damaging to the mind, we have to forgive because the hurt is so much, I thought?
I cannot even think of revenge, all I wanted to do was to get rid of the pain in my head.

What was done was painful enough, without seeking revenge, but it sure was a pain thinking? He is still out there doing it to other kids! But I had to deal with my own problems, they came first, but as you know they have to, or we don't see anyway out.

It sure is sad, that they win everyway, because they know you probably won't tell, but I have one theory on it, they must be waiting for the comeback.

They must be looking over their shoulder everywhere they go, or are they really as thick skinned as "we" make them out to be?

A kids life is worth nothing to them, they just take it and run, they think the kid will like it?
If that's the case, why use threats?

Because they know the threats work, or so they think, and to an extent they do, no kid wants to stand in court against one of them, for fear of not being believed. That is the most damaging thing to a kid, that they get them in court and lose, is something I always dreaded.

But he would never have been innocent in my fathers' eyes, he would have killed him.

It further hurts the child, because on one hand, he wants the bastard caught, and on the other hand, he doesn't. Because of what his father might do. Even then I remember protecting my father from coming into any contact with this beast.

Is it not so sick the situation they put you in???

take care

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#61965 - 09/21/04 11:08 AM Re: Need advice---Accessing danger &Protecting my sons
teacher abuse Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 3
Loc: USA
Thank you both for your advice.
My son is more scared I think but doesn't want to show it. He's a big football player in our town and has said he is afraid this ex-teacher will show up to one of the games. I always keep a eye out. I think I am getting better with it, I used to follow him (by car)when I was alone and see him when I was out. Now I actually pray for him (quietly) if the cops won't take care of him, God will, thats how I am getting through this. My husband and I have agreed (with much dispute) that if this ever happened again with one of our kids (we have 4, 13-19 years old) I WILL kill the person and go to jail, I don't mind. My husband needs to work to take care of everyone. That is if the system lets us down again. This teacher taught for 23 years. So the police did say if someone else comes forward then they will reopen the case but till then...
I am so glad you are all here for people like my son, and myself. It is so hard. I've been in contact with a group called SESAME-(Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct, and Exploitation)since the incident happened and have written to some schools about the abuse with teachers since they only do backround checks when they are hired not as a regular thing yearly or even every 5 years. I know they aren't always on their anyway but you never know.
Our district still gets the SESAME newletters, I started having sent.(I know cause a friend of mine is on the school board).
Any way thank you again for all your help.
And letting me vent..hehe
I am praying my son will take me up on joining this group too.

_________________________
A.S.A.P
(Always Say A Prayer)

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