I'll try and keep this simple as possible, as I ramble a lot.
Your partner is very fortunate to have one as understanding and devoted as you. How is it so easy for some to be able to accept,others hate you for sharing?
I have a 37+ year marriage.7 years ago, after a stay in the nut box, I learned later through therapy or ? that my worst nightmares were true.
I'd been molested since before I had recall.
It was my mother who did this.My dad was military, and must of had some real issues with her about what she did to me. One day in September, 1946, he did something horrible to me and forced my face down into its results. I inhaled some, making me extremely ill within a time frame of a few days. I was taken to a hospital and left.
I got the records from them amazingly enough and found validation of stuff that I always thought were nightmares. Subconscious stuff, there, in black & white.
I told my wife about this and the gates flew open as I told her much more than she could handle.
Events as a teen when I was put in hospitals and nut boxes on a regular basis. Stories about the experiences. The ECT stuff I endured when I did something real stupid with a gun.
Stuff I did as a pre-schooler after the hospital thing that makes me wonder how I ever got out of that town alive.
So, after all this rambling, maybe you really do NOT wish to know what and how and when?
We have children & grandchildren now, and have found a way to stick with a love that is hard to define.If it depended on sex, it would have ended 7 years ago.
She hates me for what I told her. She won't read or discuss anything about all this, or talk about anything we used to share like music and romantic stuff, even dull, medical stuff unless it is safe stuff.
This is just a warning if you don't want to deal with it. Most of us that have "stories" are very non-committal as we were taught to be this way. I made the mistake of sharing way more than I should have,and deeply regret hurting my wife and shall always feel this way.
Do you really want this for yourself?
Or for another you care about?
[This message has been edited by sharculle (edited 04-10-2001).]