I have a friend as well who is a CSA. He only told me about the abuse when I suggested to him that we end our relationship. It was this rejection that triggered an enormous amount of anger directed at me. It was very hurtful and extremely personal, but at the end he asked, "What did I do for him to hate me so much that he ...... in the ... every night? To say I was shocked is an understatement. He then also became very tired. I reassured him that I would never leave him (I meant emotionally). Things were fine in the morning, but as time progressed he withdrew emotionally and said that that's all I would ever think about. This is not true. He is displaying all the characteristics of acting out, i.e. sexual promiscuity. He is currently dating a 23-year old and he is 49 years old. I suppose it's the control he can yield over her, I don't know. I would just like to be able to help him. He has approached counselling, but stopped after two attendances. I have told him that I will be here for him when and if he ever needs any help or assistance in dealing with this issue. It just breaks my heart to see him in such pain, but he has learned to dance this dance for over thirty years and I suppose he may never want to face the reality of how self-destructive he is being. I guess I can only only to accept him for who and what he is presently.

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jobee