Today I noticed the way I reacted with some co-workers. I was working for my girlfriend in the small office (she's office manager) and I get along pretty well with the 4-5 others who work there. But I realized something.
Since June I have been working for temp agencies due a lack of a regular job, and I've been all over for 1 or 2 day stints. Sometimes I think clearly in a workplace. Sometimes I am just not there. It's like I'm hiding under the covers while having to face real people on the outside. In the meantime, I'm becoming more aware of what and how I think in situations. Today I think I know why I was "on-task" and very productive. I'll not belabor this. (hopefully)
I like Mike Lew's writing about compartments. I did well today because I knew this piece of reality. I was lost in the beginning of the day, and I zipped through after that. But it wasn't a "getting it" thing. It's like I could hide behind paperwork, and I really did. I think I saw this when I started interacting with a few others. I felt like I have been so many other people in different situations, and I knew this one. But I fetl sooooo insecure and scared inside, while there was interaction, because the real me wanted a safe place. Like I wasn't including the me inside when I socialized.
I was encouraged when I saw this. I see me and accept me more, and I feel less and less like a freak. I just wanted you guys to know. Please....share your stories if you have one. I want to be in the chat room tonight. Frightened, sure. Would this be a good issue to bring up?
fhorns (Alfred)

Anything that is on your mind is good to bring up in chat. You will find the guys there full of ideas and ready to challenge or support as needed.
Chat and enjoy.

I think I do much of what you are talking about and it is one of the coping mechanisms I have used. Sometimes things get too great for me and I have to start chopping them up in little bits... and then I only allow one bit to come my way at a time. Think that is along the lines of what you were saying. But if you throw me into a world of chaos, I really go into the little bit mode. It's the only way I have been able to survive many things.

Don