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#59844 - 01/22/06 02:01 AM More questions about meds
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
My b/f and I spoke again last night. He told me for the first time that he sometimes suffers from hallucinations, usually immediately or very shortly after an intense therapy session. When walking to his car, he “sees” someone there. His physical reaction is fear and anger to the point that he checks and double checks in and around the car before getting in. Because of what I’ve read here, I told him I didn’t believe it was a hallucination, but rather, a flashback triggered by some very intense discussions with his T. He agreed. What frightened me is that when this happens, he said he “knows” there’s someone he’ll have to kill. I’ve never seen my b/f lose his temper but I know there’s a volcano stirring just under the surface. I worry that if he’s “seeing” things that just aren’t there and some poor soul happens to be in the wrong place and the wrong time, someone will get hurt. When I asked if his T had said the words PTSD and medications to him, he responded that he she had. At that point, he didn’t want to talk anymore and since he’d had too much to drink I let it go.

This morning, I brought it up again. He didn’t want to talk about it, but I did, and told him so. He didn’t fight me - thank goodness. He is very resistant to the idea of medication for many reasons, not the least of which is this stupid “macho” thing he has going. But also, he told me that many years ago, he was given Lithium, at the recommendation of this same T. He said it didn’t work, much like the therapy, which he stopped. Many years ago Lithium may have been one of the few available drugs out there, but that seems like some pretty heavy stuff to me.

I’m not pushing him on the idea of medication, I’ve simply asked him to keep an open mind and told him that if things get too rough, I wanted him to strongly consider it and to please talk to both his T and to me about it. His immediate reaction was to ask me if it was getting to be too much for me. No, I said, not for me and not between us. But if he’s having flashbacks to the point where he’s actually “seeing” people who may harm him or he has to kill, he’s got to consider doing something about it. I told him I’d support him no matter which path he chose, with or without meds, but that he had to be honest with me and most importantly himself, if things get to a point he can’t handle.

The poor man barely sleeps, to the point where I don’t know how he functions. The only time he seems to get any rest is on Saturday and Sunday mornings, after I crawl out of bed and go downstairs. He has the whole bed to himself and I think the fact that he knows I’m just downstairs gives him a little peace of mind. But a few hours sleep on weekend mornings is not enough. He knows that, but doesn’t know how to fix it.

I know that several of the men here have been on meds at various times during their recovery. Some they’ve helped, some not. What are the some of the effects they have had, both positive and negative. Did they help with flashbacks, sleeping, etc.?

I was reading a bit at PTSD and found a very interesting site if anyone is interested. It proposes that the typical ptsd diagnosis may not be the correct one for survivors of long term trauma, rather, it proposes "complext PTSD" which is similar, but results from long term trauma, rather than an isolated trauma. http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/specific/fs_complex_ptsd.html

Thanks for reading this rather long post.

ROCK ON.......Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#59845 - 01/22/06 02:17 PM Re: More questions about meds
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Trish,

My new T says that she doesn't like grouping a patient's issues into categories like PTSD because the condition can present itself in so many ways. I have it, she says, but she will deal with it the way it presents in me, not as a kind of fixed problem that requires this or that med. This was new to me, so maybe I am not repeating this very well. But there we are.

I hope your partner will agree to seek help again, as the combination of flashbacks, drink, and feelings of grave personal peril sounds to me like it poses all sorts of dangerous possibilities for someone to get hurt.

One thing he should know is that there are many different styles and methods of therapy. I was stunned when I gave up therapy in Germany to start with someone in the UK. The feel of the whole thing is entirely different, and I find that the people I have talked to in the States and the UK have been much more "me" oriented than my T in Germany was. In Germany we mainly talked about general things and specific problems, but perhaps that was because I was just starting out.

My point would be that if he finds that therapy isn't helping him, he should say so to the T and perhaps try someone else. A good T will understand this problem and won't feel offended. And even if he/she does, well....

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#59846 - 01/23/06 01:11 AM Re: More questions about meds
johnsurvived Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/20/05
Posts: 332
Loc: Arlington, Virginia
Trish, medicating is an individual choice; from what I've read it works for some but not for others. I can repeat my T's words that got me thinking in the direction of anti-depressants "Some clients find it makes them more emotionally available to do the work of therapy." In my case, this has been very true -- it isn't that I am not still sad, depressed, angry, happy, glad, loving, raging, etc. by turns and depending on circumstances, but I can say that where these used to be overwhelming emotions, they are now ones I can begin to experience. As a matter of fact, one of the first emotional experiences that 'returned' to me after starting an anti-depressant was just plain ol' love. I hadn't felt that warm tender glow for so long; yet I hadn't known that I was missing it. It was quite a pleasant, reassuring surprise to suddenly find it in there again....but this is just my experience.

Hugs and support,
John

_________________________
Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards; for our vines have tender grapes. Song of Solomon 2:15

But let justice roll down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream. Amos 5:24

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#59847 - 01/24/06 02:37 AM Re: More questions about meds
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Thanks guys.

Larry, my b/f is happy with his T and is very comfortable with her. He tells me that she is a survivor as well and that this is "what she does" but when he first met her, it was as a marriage counselor; that was over 15 years ago. To her credit, she saw way back then what was going on with him and persuaded him to start individual therapy as well. When his marriage ultimately failed, he cut all ties to it, {no kids that goodness} including his individual therapy. When he called her in October 2005, she remembered him like he'd been in her office the day before and made time for him the very night he called. All of this speaks very well for her and maybe I'm just a skeptic and truth be told, I really don't know any better, but it seems weird to me that a T would practice in such vastly different areas. I know she cares about him; he feels that and it's important to him. He's very raw and he trusts this T - I need to leave that one alone.

He's really terribly depressed. He doesn't sleep or eat properly, he's gaining weight, he drinks too much and cries alot. He's not sedentary, never has been, but he's working more now than he ever was, both at home and on the job. I believe he's afraid to allow his mind and body to be anything but occupied or numb because then he'll have nothing to think about but "them."

He said the last time he was on meds it just made him depressed, which is exactly what it's not supposed to do. I don't know if they are an answer or not because I've never dealt with it myself. We'll see how things progress, or not, and we'll talk more. Right now, I'm not pushing him either way; it's his choice, but if I see a really downturn, I'll speak up.

John, I love the way you explain how the meds helped you to open up and not only deal with but embrace the feelings you had, good and bad. It's encouraging and I'll be sure to tell my b/f exactly what you said and what your T said if he finds himself on the fence about the meds.

I know meds are not a "fix" but if they can help him along........

Thank you.

ROCK ON.......Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#59848 - 01/24/06 12:45 PM Re: More questions about meds
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Trish,

I know that some guys get fed up with meds because the first few they are on don't seem to help. The guy is depressed anyway, so he gets frustrated and stops entirely.

I think that's a bad idea. Meds for these kinds of problems are so personal, and often it takes awhile to get the regime of medication right. But when it's right it sure is worth it.

Quite often you just feel somehow "medicated", and then as thinks improve it is so gradual that you don't notice all that much. But the difference can be enormous. I know that because last week I somehow forgot to take mine two days in a row, and man, was I ever hammered. I was so depressed I could hardly get up out of bed, and then I suddenly remembered that I forgotten to take my meds.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#59849 - 01/24/06 01:02 PM Re: More questions about meds
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
My thoughts on this, is to get a psyche docs to look at his meds.

MDs seem to think that anti depressants are the way to go, in some ways they are, but they can numb emotions, or even fire them off.

The things you describe about double checking, maybe related to OCD, I do it all the time, checking everything but losing everything also.

PTSD, is the sum of CSA related trauma, and there are new therapies on the scene, try and find out about them.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#59850 - 01/24/06 06:51 PM Re: More questions about meds
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Thanks for the link, there is some good reading in there that relates to me.

Just printing it out now.

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#59851 - 01/25/06 03:43 AM Re: More questions about meds
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
ste,

I'm glad the link gave you some info you found useful.

As for the possibility of OCD, nope. That's me not him. I can't clean a closet out without lining up the hangers! I only suffer from it enough to make myself laugh and be laughed at by my friends for my quirks, but I know it can be debilitating for some.

ROCK ON.......Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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