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#59545 - 01/17/06 02:26 AM Re: My Story ******STRONG TRIGGERS*******
puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 129
Loc: earth
no offense intended here.

abusers will apologize and take responsibility and then do it again and again. its part of their sickness.

your life and your marriage is your business but who is protecting your daughter. if you feel sorry for your husband and continue the relationship, you choose him over your daughter. you compromise her safety. shes a child and her well being is in your hands. dont let her down.

_________________________
pUpPy

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#59546 - 01/17/06 04:32 PM Re: My Story ******STRONG TRIGGERS*******
elle7 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/22/05
Posts: 4
Loc: Midland
um, I am not chosing my husband over my daughter, did I say that? No, I did not! Perhaps you should read it again. I am protecting my daughter and will continue to, thank you very much.


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#59547 - 01/17/06 09:05 PM Re: My Story ******STRONG TRIGGERS*******
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Elle,

I never doubted that you were doing the right things by your daughter but I'm glad you actually spelled it out.

My only concern is not the fact of the conflicted feelings you have, but that you don't let your daughter in on those feelings. I know that statement goes against almost everything you will read here. Feelings are what many of the guys are trying to find and what all of the S/Os are all wrapped up in.

If you're daughter feels your conflict then I'm afraid she may trust you and speak to you less.
Her belief system has been shattered by someone who was supposed to always make it right, not wrong. You're now the only half of that equation left and that puts an even bigger burden and responsibility on you to ensure that she's OK and that she can turn to you with 100% certainty. Even if you're doing all of the right things, her perception can easily get screwed up.

Does this even make sense? I does in my head, but I'm not sure if I'm putting it down the way I want.

Dave probably put it best:

Quote:
What she might not respond so well to is the 'loss' of her family as she knew it and her childhood, so I guess your work has only just begun.
I wish you well Elle. You and your daughter have alot to deal with now and in the future. Your love is clear and that will go along way in the healing process.

ROCK ON........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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