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#59312 - 12/24/05 07:36 PM Therapy
crocyx Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 3
ok, i'm getting a lot of mixed messages about therapy.

My boyfriend has just started in therapy. Most people seem to be stressing it's importance, even though it will be difficult. And indeed it is very difficult for him. It's like he gets worse after he comes tot his site or goes to therapy. The nightmares, the symptoms, dissociation, everything gets escalated. He's sleeping a lot more too, but he can't sleep so he just has more nightmares and wakes up screaming. Then he'll dissociate if it's bad enough. It's rough.

Some people I have talked to on here have said they went through similar experiences when they started coming here. I have talked to other people and they said that therapy isn't a good idea unless he is ready for it.

"Therapy is fucking hard - it's a gauntlet you have to run through and you have to be in good shape first. You have to be willing to admit the lies you tell yourself... and he can't even admit the realities that have been imposed upon him."

If he isn't ready to talk about it then is therapy gonna do anything? But if he doesn't start therapy how is he gonna be ready to talk about it?

What do you think?

oh, & happy holiday's, folks.


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#59313 - 12/24/05 08:28 PM Re: Therapy
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
crocyx,

My b/f just started therapy 2 months ago and yes, at times it is harder rather than easier. He tried it 12-13 years ago but he wasn't ready to do it so it didn't last - not didn't work - didn't last. This time, he feels he's unable to run from himself anymore and even though therapy brings out emotions and memories that he doesn't want to think about, it's been done. The memories were always there, he just pushed them away by acting out all the time and drinking excessively. Now, he's committed to dealing because he knows it's the only way.

I personally think that therapy is always a good idea, but the right therapist is critical to help your boyfriend walk through the minefields. Be strong for him Crocyx, and for you. If he wants to stop therapy because it's "too hard" do everything you can to gently dissuade him; support him as much as he will allow and let him feel safe in the space the two of you have created. If he knows that no matter how hard it gets he can always find refuge there, it will help. If he feels a problem with the therapist, then encourage him to stop and find another one.
If his T is the issue, or even part of it, then therapy can do more harm than good.

Be well and have a Happy Holiday.

ROCK ON..........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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