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#58904 - 04/11/04 02:02 PM Unmasking
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
The one thing I can't stand being called is a hypocrite.

By this I mean, how can I expect to trust you when I don't disclose anything about myself and hide behind anonymity?

The events of the last few days tell me that, more than anything, I can't expect to ask to believe you if you can't believe me.

With this in mind, I will "unmask" myself, here and on friends and family and on the member's forum.

I don't expect anyone else to do this, and I don't want you to, but I believe it's time for me to trust you all, no matter what the cost.

My name is Scot Robert Carr. I live in Hopedale, Massachusetts (the member's directory has my address). I'm an ESL teacher and and adult basic literacy instructor. I'm an Irish-American, a Catholic (not a good one! ), and a follower of both Zen and Bushido, the Way of the Warrior. I am also a survivor and I'm living with what was done to me.

I won't hide myself from the abusers or deceivers. But also want to open myself up to those who have given me so much here.

I'm free. And I'm open.

Peace and love to you all,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#58905 - 04/11/04 11:14 PM Re: Unmasking
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Hey Scot,

Y'know you have a point.

When I first came here, I was scared to death that someone might find me here and ...do...I don't know what! Later, I relaxed and signed my name cuz what the heck. Pollyanna was too long!

By some freak of nature, 2 people, not one but TWO happened by and decided to bash on me in the chat room awhile back. I don't go there, but a really neato "brutha" told me what was going on, and I was able to do the Paul Harvey thing and tell him the rest....of the story. I appreciate you James! In light of that, anyone who heard whatever was being said...I don't know all of it and I really don't care...I hope that the things I have said myself, and the way what I say "feels" to you have said more than a bash session would. Thanks.

So, since the people with the biggest axes to grind have already ground them, what the heck! I'm Lynn Shelby (yes, related to Carroll Shelby of the "Cobra" and "Mustang") from Missouri, originally from north central Massachusetts, and yes, extremely homesick! And Scot, I am NOT a redneck! :p I have 6 natural and a a few adopted kids, one legally, and a couple not on paper, but forever etched into my heart. We have been kind of a "safe house" for kids who needed somewhere to go. Some stayed for extended periods of time, while others just hung out here for support. Last count, there have been 26 in the 28 years we have been married. Since most of our kids are gone, that has slowed down. Our house isn't quite as "hoppin" as it was. I'm a music person, the kids are music people, and whenever our youngest son's friends come over to "jam", my husband suddenly gets an uncontrollable urge to go to Wal Mart. I have a "stupid" sense of humor, (I LOVE "Johnny English") and a sarcastic edge when I need it. \:D
Anything else ya wanna know? I mean except for the part where I'm way too naieve for my age, and way too trusting, but that's not going to change because it's who I am, and it's way too much trouble to be looking over my shoulder all the time.

Zen and Bushido huh? I spent 5 years quite immersed in judo.

Ok so, if anyone here is a telemarketer...I'm not applying to be on your mailing list!

Have a happy...

Hugs,

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#58906 - 04/12/04 02:58 AM Re: Unmasking
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Lynn,
Hey good to see you again.....how you been doing? Things ok on your end of the world?

James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#58907 - 04/12/04 08:20 AM Re: Unmasking
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Hey Lynn, can you get me a blue '65 and a red 74'?
lol

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#58908 - 04/12/04 06:11 PM Re: Unmasking
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"SHELBY !!!"
I am weak at the knees, as a kid when we ( the Brit's ) were still driving the crappiest cars in the universe I had a Pirelli poster of a Shelby Mustang on my bedroom wall. Supermodels !! get outta here - I want - I NEED - the smell of petrol in the morning.

And it's great to meet you Lynn.

Dave \:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#58909 - 04/12/04 07:11 PM Re: Unmasking
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Wow...I shoulda known if I said "car" around a bunch of guys we'd get "drool" all over the place! \:D

Carroll Shelby is my husband's grandfather's nephew I guess. He makes a good chili mix too! He must have a "thing" for gas. \:D (I can't believe I just said that!)

It seems to be in the Shelby genes to "need the smell of petrol" ALL the time. You should see our garage! Ugh! If they would let "me" in there, the tools would all be sterile and in alphabetical order...or maybe arranged according to size! Maybe that's why I'm not allowed in there! Ha! Well....that, and I hear that occasionally the tools have a tendency to, uh, "fly". So do expletives!

How's my world? Interesting. Confusing. Very confusing as of yesterday. Someone who took me to court over a bunch of made up stuff, is suddenly "being nice to me". I pictured myself telling her totally off if she ever tried to talk to me, but I didn't. I just told her she hurt me very badly till I was kinda "dead" inside, and it wasn't fair. She said she knew she hurt me, and she knew it wasn't fair, tears streaming down her face. But I have seen that before, just a week or so before she forged her attack. She wants to be friends. But she wanted to be friends then too.

I don't hate her. Andrei has gotten to me! I don't know how I feel. There's no trust, that's for sure. My head is spinning.

So, then, what IS a friend??? Not someone who tries to stomp you into the ground and crush you to powder to get their way. I can forgive, cuz really, this was "nothing". I do realize that I have to watch my own back now though.

I really want to be somewhere else. Is there anyone else on this planet like me? Believe me, I may not know what you have experienced by abuse, but I do know how it is not to be understood or taken seriously.

Don'tcha love the name of Scot's town..."Hopedale". Hey, it's a sign!!! (Yeah..."Entering Hopedale"!)

Hugs,

Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#58910 - 04/12/04 07:20 PM Re: Unmasking
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
All I can think of Lynn is......the Bean Scene from "Blazing Saddles."

\:D

I love the smell of gas in the morning!

HAH!

Or, as Tom Cruise once said in a commercial for Tokyo Gas & Electricity, "my life, my gas!"

(Yes, he really said it. And it was on TV!)

Peace and love,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#58911 - 04/12/04 07:27 PM Re: Unmasking
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
HA! \:D Blazing Saddles! You're dating yourself! Yeah, I do remember it!

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#58912 - 04/16/04 03:39 PM Re: Unmasking
wifenneed Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/20/02
Posts: 91
Loc: Michigan
Ha ha blazing saddles. I remember that too. And, my dear husband can only drool over Mustangs, we have several 500KR models about the house, and a poster too. Someday when we retire we may actually go buy one, however I wonder how much more that will set us back in 15 years or so! Yikes. Thanks for your posts Scot and Lynn.
Kathy


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#58913 - 05/02/04 01:04 AM Re: Unmasking
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
My first name is Alexei. I am a Pisces. And I am not embarrassed at all to fart in public. There. You know me now!

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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