The one thing I can't stand being called is a hypocrite.

By this I mean, how can I expect to trust you when I don't disclose anything about myself and hide behind anonymity?

The events of the last few days tell me that, more than anything, I can't expect to ask to believe you if you can't believe me.

With this in mind, I will "unmask" myself, here and on friends and family and on the member's forum.

I don't expect anyone else to do this, and I don't want you to, but I believe it's time for me to trust you all, no matter what the cost.

My name is Scot Robert Carr. I live in Hopedale, Massachusetts (the member's directory has my address). I'm an ESL teacher and and adult basic literacy instructor. I'm an Irish-American, a Catholic (not a good one! ), and a follower of both Zen and Bushido, the Way of the Warrior. I am also a survivor and I'm living with what was done to me.

I won't hide myself from the abusers or deceivers. But also want to open myself up to those who have given me so much here.

I'm free. And I'm open.

Peace and love to you all,

Scot

Hey Scot,

Y'know you have a point.

When I first came here, I was scared to death that someone might find me here and ...do...I don't know what! Later, I relaxed and signed my name cuz what the heck. Pollyanna was too long!

By some freak of nature, 2 people, not one but TWO happened by and decided to bash on me in the chat room awhile back. I don't go there, but a really neato "brutha" told me what was going on, and I was able to do the Paul Harvey thing and tell him the rest....of the story. I appreciate you James! In light of that, anyone who heard whatever was being said...I don't know all of it and I really don't care...I hope that the things I have said myself, and the way what I say "feels" to you have said more than a bash session would. Thanks.

So, since the people with the biggest axes to grind have already ground them, what the heck! I'm Lynn Shelby (yes, related to Carroll Shelby of the "Cobra" and "Mustang") from Missouri, originally from north central Massachusetts, and yes, extremely homesick! And Scot, I am NOT a redneck! :p I have 6 natural and a a few adopted kids, one legally, and a couple not on paper, but forever etched into my heart. We have been kind of a "safe house" for kids who needed somewhere to go. Some stayed for extended periods of time, while others just hung out here for support. Last count, there have been 26 in the 28 years we have been married. Since most of our kids are gone, that has slowed down. Our house isn't quite as "hoppin" as it was. I'm a music person, the kids are music people, and whenever our youngest son's friends come over to "jam", my husband suddenly gets an uncontrollable urge to go to Wal Mart. I have a "stupid" sense of humor, (I LOVE "Johnny English") and a sarcastic edge when I need it.
Anything else ya wanna know? I mean except for the part where I'm way too naieve for my age, and way too trusting, but that's not going to change because it's who I am, and it's way too much trouble to be looking over my shoulder all the time.

Zen and Bushido huh? I spent 5 years quite immersed in judo.

Ok so, if anyone here is a telemarketer...I'm not applying to be on your mailing list!

Have a happy...

Hugs,

Lynn

Lynn,
Hey good to see you again.....how you been doing? Things ok on your end of the world?

James

Hey Lynn, can you get me a blue '65 and a red 74'?
lol

"SHELBY !!!"
I am weak at the knees, as a kid when we ( the Brit's ) were still driving the crappiest cars in the universe I had a Pirelli poster of a Shelby Mustang on my bedroom wall. Supermodels !! get outta here - I want - I NEED - the smell of petrol in the morning.

And it's great to meet you Lynn.

Dave

Wow...I shoulda known if I said "car" around a bunch of guys we'd get "drool" all over the place!

Carroll Shelby is my husband's grandfather's nephew I guess. He makes a good chili mix too! He must have a "thing" for gas. (I can't believe I just said that!)

It seems to be in the Shelby genes to "need the smell of petrol" ALL the time. You should see our garage! Ugh! If they would let "me" in there, the tools would all be sterile and in alphabetical order...or maybe arranged according to size! Maybe that's why I'm not allowed in there! Ha! Well....that, and I hear that occasionally the tools have a tendency to, uh, "fly". So do expletives!

How's my world? Interesting. Confusing. Very confusing as of yesterday. Someone who took me to court over a bunch of made up stuff, is suddenly "being nice to me". I pictured myself telling her totally off if she ever tried to talk to me, but I didn't. I just told her she hurt me very badly till I was kinda "dead" inside, and it wasn't fair. She said she knew she hurt me, and she knew it wasn't fair, tears streaming down her face. But I have seen that before, just a week or so before she forged her attack. She wants to be friends. But she wanted to be friends then too.

I don't hate her. Andrei has gotten to me! I don't know how I feel. There's no trust, that's for sure. My head is spinning.

So, then, what IS a friend??? Not someone who tries to stomp you into the ground and crush you to powder to get their way. I can forgive, cuz really, this was "nothing". I do realize that I have to watch my own back now though.

I really want to be somewhere else. Is there anyone else on this planet like me? Believe me, I may not know what you have experienced by abuse, but I do know how it is not to be understood or taken seriously.

Don'tcha love the name of Scot's town..."Hopedale". Hey, it's a sign!!! (Yeah..."Entering Hopedale"!)

Hugs,

Lynn

All I can think of Lynn is......the Bean Scene from "Blazing Saddles."



I love the smell of gas in the morning!

HAH!

Or, as Tom Cruise once said in a commercial for Tokyo Gas & Electricity, "my life, my gas!"

(Yes, he really said it. And it was on TV!)

Peace and love,

Scot

HA! Blazing Saddles! You're dating yourself! Yeah, I do remember it!

Ha ha blazing saddles. I remember that too. And, my dear husband can only drool over Mustangs, we have several 500KR models about the house, and a poster too. Someday when we retire we may actually go buy one, however I wonder how much more that will set us back in 15 years or so! Yikes. Thanks for your posts Scot and Lynn.
Kathy

My first name is Alexei. I am a Pisces. And I am not embarrassed at all to fart in public. There. You know me now!

leosha