The girl who interviewed me (for her thesis on teen pregnancy--I posted about it a while back) sent a copy of her completed paper--she even told me what my psuedonym was (in case I couldn't find my own quotes--I don't know, I just found that very funny).

It took me a few sessions to read through it--it was weird, I've read studies "about" people like me before but I've never really been one of them... I really am one of them though... when I looked at the other responses to the interview questions, I could clearly recall having given the very same answers.

It was a hard thing for me to give her that interview. For days afterwards I asked myself asking the same questions she'd asked, only more critically. It's strange that some of the things that were the hardest for me to say didn't end up in print. It's strange, and nice, to think that maybe some of the other people will read MY answers and remember giving theirs. It's strange what other people can make your words say about a whole society. Half of me thinks, "well I didn't mean all THAT" and half of me thinks, "YES, that's right!"

I still think she's got it all a little wrong. Maybe because I'm on the inside and can't see the whole picture, maybe because she doesn't really know, and can't ever know, what I mean. What she has to say is better than nothing though.

She did put the part about my boyfriend in, (it's in the other post) about how standing by me and his decisions was harder for him than it would have been to do the "wrong" thing but he did it anyway \:\) ... she went on and on about how male and female teens get scary and conflicting messages about sexuality but she focused on media and society and left out the part about what some of them are getting (or trying to get away from) at home \:\( (that was the hard part to say)... it kind of pisses me off because I would guess that in the end that has a lot more to do with early parenthood than the media but it's not my paper.

thank you guys for letting me get this out. and I give SOOOOO much credit to any of you who've participated in this kind of thing--it's really not easy--

SAR