Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueturtle (46), David C (40), DavidC (40), Derdlecar (61), Hector (54)
Who's Online
2 registered (TJ jeff, 1 invisible), 25 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63363 Topics
443069 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#58417 - 10/25/05 08:07 PM The Norm
Johnny Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 7
Loc: Houston
Has anyone ever heard of an instance where incest was the norm in a family... and they saw nothing wrong with it?

I just found out my best friend (former best friend now) is not only a pedophile but was molested by his father and plans to molest his kids if ever he has any.

Can this man be helped?

What should I do?

As it looks now... I'm trying to get him out of my life.


Top
#58418 - 10/25/05 08:52 PM Re: The Norm
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
The Marquis de Sade thought incest was "normal", but then again, you have to look at the source.

Most pedophiles think there's nothing wrong with their activity, which goes to show you how fucked up their mind is. Your friend sounds like a walking disaster. If you believe he is actively hurting children around him, I hope you'll report that to your local authorities. Better that he should perish from society than that he destroy innocents.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#58419 - 10/25/05 09:25 PM Re: The Norm
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Johnny,

Please check your private messages.

I suggest that you call 1-888-PREVENT and talk to the folks at StopItNow! for information and support.

I am sure that there are families where incest is widespread and individual instances of it are not surprising to others in the family. That does NOT mean that incest is "normal" or less of a big deal for those victims.

SAR


Top
#58420 - 10/25/05 09:43 PM Re: The Norm
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Johnny,

If you believe it's happening then I think it is incumbent upon you as a decent person to do everything in your power to make sure that it is stopped.

Pedophiles create nothing but heartache and suffering for innocent children. Nothing that the authorities can do to this man is enough unless it gets him off the streets and takes away his ability to hurt a child.

That's an awesome responsibility for you, but for better or worse, he told you and you have the power to help stop it.

Sorry that this post does not have the supportive tone that always exists on this site, but something like this makes my blood boil and it sounds like time is not a luxury that exists in this situation.

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

Top
#58421 - 10/26/05 01:54 AM Re: The Norm
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Johnny,

I don't disagree with anything I said above, but as I re-read it, it sound much harsher toward you than I intended - I'm sorry for that. I really do recognize that the knowledge you have is a tremendous burden to carry, especially given that this man was your best friend.

What made me write again is a concern I have that he may be violent. You said you are trying to get him out of your life and I don't know if it's because of what he told you or because you have a fear of him or maybe both.

I do believe that you have a responsibility to try to stop a child from being harmed, but you have to protect yourself as well from anything he may be capable of.

I'm sure that SAR had some sound advice, because she always does *s* so please listen to her words and be safe.

Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

Top
#58422 - 10/26/05 06:20 AM Re: The Norm
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Have a look around this site and read all the posts. I doubt you'll come to conclude that sexual abuse of children is normal and causes no harm.

You've already asked the question so you must already believe that the "normalness of incest" is a lie. I agree.

You need to make sure he is guilty, but by his own confession he is. That being true then I think you have to report him to the authorities. Stop the abuse now.


Top
#58423 - 10/26/05 09:23 AM Re: The Norm
Johnny Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 7
Loc: Houston
Thanks for the input.

For the record. I don't think incest is normal at all. I'm still in a state of schock after finding all this out. The thing of it is... I have no proof of anything. So do I contact the authorities and say this guy I knew has fantasies of molesting kids... yada yada yada.


Top
#58424 - 10/26/05 09:45 AM Re: The Norm
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Johnny, you did say in your post "he is a paedophile" hence the response you got from me and others.

Of course this needs to be a certainty otherwise once a person is reported who is not guilty then damage is done that cannot be undone, not only to the person accused but to all those that know them. For those that know them there will perhaps always be the doubt of "what if...".

Suspecting a person is different from saying they are guilty. To come here and want assistance and clarification if fine and good.

If you then didn't mean categorically that he IS a perp but that you merely suspect based on yada yada yada, then I'd say for your own peace of mind that you create this distance that you were planning and I for one wouldn't be sending any kids his way.

For me, there is someone that I know that I suspect "may be" a perp but I have no proof, merely (probably overly sensitive from me) suspicions. I have raised that here on this site and asked for help. In conclusion to my situation I have realised that I have no right to perhaps destroy a persons life just because "I" think something may be going on. As I said, I feel that damage can never be undone if it's wrong.

I for one certainly don't underestimate the power of CSA but nor am I the worlds' policeman or God.


Top
#58425 - 10/26/05 05:25 PM Re: The Norm
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Quote:

I'm still in a state of schock after finding all this out. The thing of it is... I have no proof of anything. So do I contact the authorities and say this guy I knew has fantasies of molesting kids... yada yada yada.
Johnny, the StopItNow! number that I gave in my earlier post is for a confidential hotline where you can just talk to someone and get more information. Then you can decide for yourself what you want your next step to be.


Top
#58426 - 10/26/05 08:07 PM Re: The Norm
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Aside from threats to kill the president, or some direct threat/harm to a specific person, it is generally not possible to get the authorities to investigate or confront/arrest someone for his opinion or desires.

StopItNow will give you some ideas about how you can either talk to this guy or whether you have any grounds for contacting the child protective services. If he has children and is going around saying he likes the thought of incest or would like to molest his children, then you may have a potential clear and present danger.

Ken


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.