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#5833 - 08/09/06 02:16 AM motels
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
I went on vacation to CA. & AZ. while there I stayed in a motell a couple of nights . I had a hard time sleeping .
I was raped in a motel room several years ago .
how can i try and learn to adjust to such a problem ? because id I travle I will Have to use motels

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#5834 - 08/09/06 02:23 AM Re: motels
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2259
Loc: Maryland USA
Michael,

What can you do to help yourself remember that this is a different room, different motel, different time? Can you bring something with you that helps you stay grounded in today? Can you call and talk to someone helpful before you retire at night? If you were on an upper floor, can you be sure to get a ground floor room? If you were in a single, can you be sure to stay in a double room? Heck, can you bring some posters that you tape on the walls to make the room look different from the one where someone raped you?

Our minds can play tricks on us, so give "today" all the help you can staying front and center.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#5835 - 08/09/06 07:45 AM Re: motels
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Michael,

I really like all Joe's suggestions: he really hits on a lot of great ideas. What about music? You could also take along music that you really like and that relaxes you.

I would also say try to remind yourself that the rape you suffered a few years ago doesn't even mean that THAT particular motel was dangerous, much less that motels in general are dangerous. What happened to you was the fault of a predator, who could have struck anyone anywhere else.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#5836 - 08/09/06 10:07 PM Re: motels
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2259
Loc: Maryland USA
Michael,

I saw Larry's reply and it got me thinking on my commute this morning. You can involve all your senses. (Carefully) burn a candle or some incense, use some potpourri, or spray some kind of scent that reminds you of better times and places around the room.

Eat a meal that you've discovered sometime after the rape.

Bring a stuffed animal along.

It's in your power to experiment and find what works best for you. Go for it!

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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