Before I say anything else, I must first thank you all. Everyone who posted to me was positive and wonderful and above all, helpful. I would love to shake hands with each and every one of you and then keep you all close.

As I explained in my previous thread, I left my b/f my letter, hoping to hear from him tonight before I went to sleep, but didn't dare hope for the reality that was. He called at 5:15 when he knew I'd be out of work and asked me to come over. Sweeter words could not have been heard by me.

We had a beautiful evening together. We talked and cried - alot - but so much between US is clearer. I know from "talking" to you all and from reading many, many posts that he has just begun to travel the road to his recovery and that it will be difficult, if not almost impossible at times. Now though, I know that what my role should and can be.

This man is worth every ounce of fight I have in me to stand by him and help him when I can. Seeing him at his most vulnerable only makes him stronger and more of a man than I already believed him to be.

I told my b/f about this site and I hope he'll come here and see that he's not alone. Many of the things he told me tonight about the way he felt sometimes were not surprises to me because you have been so generous as to share your feelings on these pages. This has helped me; I know it will help him, when he's ready.

I don't believe our world is perfect and I'm not seeing it through rose colored glasses, but for tonight, I will enjoy the peace and the love we shared and look forward to more when it comes.

I will continue to come here, because I know I'll need you and in some way, maybe I can help someone else working through hard times.

I will sleep well tonight. Thank you.

Trish

Trish
he's one lucky guy.

Please stick around as well, there's plenty of work to do and we're here to help you both.

I love a happy post

Dave

Thanks Dave,

I'm a bit meloncholy at the moment because although we saw each other for a little while tonight and it was good, he's going to a meeting tonight and it makes him sad and stressed. As much as I hate to see him that way, I know it's necessary and so does he. I give him alot of credit for facing his demons and fighting them.

He knows where to find me if he needs or wants to, but he'll probably just go home with a tall drink, sit in the hot tub and cry. That's what he told me and I said OK. As much as I want him to come to me, you've all helped me to understand that it has to be on his terms when he's ready. So OK, I won't be sad about that and believe it or not, I'm not sad about that. I'm only sad for what led us to the place we are. I can't change that. We can only go forward. Remember the movie "What About Bob"? Baby steps.

Trish

Trish

Thats wonderful news for both of you. You sound gentle and peaceful in your post, it really comes through. I wonder if he can sense that in you also and if that is a comfort to him. I know it doesn't help my partner when I am feeling desperate no matter how well I think I'm hiding it.
You are clearly handling this really well and being just the best support.

LOL

Tracy

Trish,

You are seeing the roller coaster that is so typical for survivors. What is important, though, is that he took the risk of opening up to you again and it went well.

I think you are on a good path Trish, and a LOT of this is down to your love and compassion. He is so lucky.

Dave...absolutely. It's great to see a happy post like that!

Larry

Trish,

I am so happy to hear that you and your boyfriend are sorting things out. You are probably his happy thought and his comforting presence right now. Even when he's away from you, it likely gives him some measure of peace just to think of you, something secure to ground him in this scary time. He is definitely very lucky to have you. Glad you are finding some peace and wishing you strength and comfort and love.

Bluebird

Hey Trish,

My partner also needs some time alone after therapy. In the beginning he wasn't really himself for the whole day after therapy. I think at times he kept me at more of a distance than even he wanted, just so that he could be reassured that I would respect the distance, IF he wanted it.

Now that he knows I will give him space when he really needs it, he asks for it less.

SAR