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#58154 - 03/03/04 09:30 PM Welcome LonelyOne
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Hi LonelyOne,

I thought instead of adding to the other thread I would start this one to say hello and welcome.

You are right, being a partner is difficult and isolating--this place has made it a little less so for me. I hope you keep posting. Especially with the second-guessing myself. Sometimes reading what others have done makes me surer of what I should be doing (even if they didn't mean it that way
;\) )

I don't have to worry about bringing up the topic with other people in my boyfriend's life who know about it--I'm the only one \:\( --reading your post made me think about it though... sounds like a terrible conversation to be stuck in.

Take care of yourself,
SAR


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#58155 - 03/05/04 12:07 AM Re: Welcome LonelyOne
lonelyone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 3
Loc: LA
Dear Sar,
I know all about the second-guessing of oneís self, I do it frequently when it comes to my husband. Most of the time he emotionally distances himself from me. Unfortunately, he doesnít let me know what he needs and when he needs it. Sometimes I fight him on it and sometimes I try to give him the space I know that he needs. Itís a double edge sword I donít want to be overbearing but I donít what to be so hands off that it could be construed that I donít understand or donít care. I wish I could figure out the proper balance.

It must be difficult for you, being the only one in your boyfriendís life who knows what he is dealing with. If you ever need to talk please pm me.

Roland- Thank you for giving me the hope that someday my husband will stop viewing me as the enemy and start looking at me as an ally. I know that I cannot heal my husband, but I think that there is a lot to be said for having a wife standing by you and giving encouragement and acceptance.

Thank you both


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