What can I ever say that will make things any better ? I know how much someones suicide hurts, my best friend, also abused at school with me, took his life when he was nearly 40. It's beyond words that someones actions when we were just kids can do this to us as adults.
You do have a right to some answers.
Whether you ever find some answers is another question entirely, I hope you find enough.
I'm the forums administrator here, and I've checked the control panel for any trace of Ravens Claw, and there's none. But that doesn't mean he didn't come here and just read some of the powerfull things the guys here write, I hope he did. Perhaps we gave him some small hope ?
It took me 31 years before I disclosed, and that was to my wife of 25 years. The secrets lied deep within us.
I think your brothers secret is out though. To walk into that meeting and confront them like that makes me believe that he was 100% certain of what had happened in the past.
If he was so certain about what happened to your older brother, you must surely ask "why". I can't imagine doing something so powerful unless I "knew".
Check this post out, and maybe think about your choices. http://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=003177
With your brother gone there's little chance of retribution unless there are other survivors coming forward and the abuser admits to what he's done. And that's a journey of lawyers, expense, time and frustration. With an uncertain result.
The other choice is concentrate on yourself and the remaining family, maybe through grief counselling, or coming to the Family & Friends forum here and gaining some greater understanding of what your brother was going through ? whatever you do you must not let his death rule your life in the same way as his abuser ruled his. In his own way he trying to relieve you and everyone else of the 'problem' he had. But we all know that it doesn't work like that does it ?
Your brother did nothing wrong, in fact he was a very brave man for standing up to the faceless people behind the abuser. Perhaps the reaction to that was too much for him ?
If you think your brother might have posted here it's possible that he might have used another name, and if you send me a Private Message ( at the top of my post you'll see a small icon of two people standing by an envelope, click on that, write your message and click send ) with any other information that might be useful - especially his email address. I promise that it will remain confidential and will only be used to check whether he was here under another name.
Take care of yourself Karen.