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#57693 - 09/10/05 11:11 PM A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
To all my friends.
I have made a decision to no longer be a part of the Admin / Moderating team here at MS. It's a decision that I've taken some time over, but now I feel ready.

My decision is NOTHING to do with way MS is run and moderated, or anything to do with future plans for MS, it's a personal decision based on the fact that I need more time to work with Survivors here in the UK.

I also feel it's time for me spend some time relaxing with my wife instead of spending hours sat glued to this screen, but to be fair she's never complained about my time spent here.

I have to say that I've enjoyed what I've done here, even when it's meant sitting here until the early hours of the morning chasing imposters and idiots around the internet, it was worth it for me because MS became a little bit safer for all of us.
It's especially worth it when I see someone having what I call a "YES !" moment as some part of their lifes jigsaw falls into place.
There have been many moments over the last few years when I have sat here crying tears of absolute joy at someones "YES !" moments.

The Admin / Mod team do make safety the number one priority here, and it's not an easy task. Many hours of hard work and long discussions go on behind the scenes, no decision is taken lightly because we understand how it feels to be a Survivor.

The Admin / Mod team are a terrific bunch of people. It's hard to imagine a more dedicated and caring crew, and I have to say that my respect for them is total. I'm going to miss working with them all.

I came to MS a long time back and discovered that I was not alone, that made a huge difference to me.
It inspired me to think about my healing in a different way, and other Survivors encouraged me to think outside of my old limitations, I learned new things that have stuck with me ever since.
And I still see that happening to others here, and that gives me so much hope and satisfaction.

I will stay at MS though and use the forums, perhaps it's time for me to return to basics?
I see MS as the BEST Survivors site in cyberspace, MS does help everyone that comes here with the aim of healing themselves, sadly some come here expecting the 'miracle cure'; but sadly we know that ain't gonna happen.

Healing from CSA is a very personal thing, the Therapists and Psychologists will all tell you that there is no 'right way' to heal, but there are common things between Survivors that sometimes only 'we' can understand, and if we try to go it alone then we risk never fully understanding all the things that are going on in our world. What we need is support and friendship from others who truly understand. Not only the victims and survivors of CSA but the partners, wives, friends and families of Survivors, they understand from a different angle, and we need to share that understanding as well.

And that's why I was prepared to dedicate my time to MS, it gave me somewhere to meet people who understood my problems, and then I wanted to share that understanding.

I'll see you all on the forums, and thanks for all your support. I couldn't have managed without it.

Dave \:\)

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#57694 - 09/10/05 11:31 PM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Dave,

As my favorite moderator to "bug" with my concerns, I'll miss having you for my sounding board. But I certainly understand your decision and applaud you for makingit. You're the most important person in your well-being, so see to Dave first. Thanks for all the belly-aching you've listened to from me, and looking forward to still seeing you around the forums in your new role.


#57695 - 09/11/05 01:31 PM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
Caetel Offline

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Dear Lloydy

I totally understand your decision and I respect it. Being a mod is not only time consuming but it is also very draining. I hope you will continue to attend the forum and share your precious insight and experience.
I am glad you are going to continue your work qupporting survivors in the UK and I hope I will be able to meet you at the next Healing the healers workshop in England.
I am also happy that Ms Lloydy is going to benefit from this decision ! \:D
Love and hugs

Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

#57696 - 09/12/05 04:03 AM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Let me tell you all, this guy Dave here, I can't say enough about him.

The mods and the whole MS community are made richer by his being here, and are richer because of what he's left behind.

If we are indeed the best survivor site out there, it has a lot to do with Dave.

Want to give him a standing ovation? Here\'s the thread.

#57697 - 09/12/05 11:49 PM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
That's a posh name for a grumpy old bugger if ever I heard one \:D

But I like it, and the plug has been pulled on my "access to all areas" so now it's back to basics.

And I must thank you all for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.
I wouldn't have done the work if I didn't believe it was worth it, and we Survivors are "worth it"

Dave \:\)

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#57698 - 09/13/05 11:40 AM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
kolisha54 Offline

Registered: 12/02/03
Posts: 475
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
Dave - I will miss you wearing your Mod hat! There were several times over the past years when I have turned to you in times of discomfort & crisis. You were always compassionate & non-judgmental. More than that - you did the job with fairness & integrity. Hope you will keep posting!

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now... when? --Hillel

#57699 - 09/17/05 06:32 PM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
Wifey1 Offline

Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 380
I am a bit late in my response to your news of your growth. I am so happy and proud of you as you are a wonderful role model for not only myself but so many more of us.

It took me a few days to be able to put into words (without cussiní *wink*, not really) these
words that follow from my heart to you.

Heroís come in many shapes and sizes.

They donít always arrive with flashing lights upon their mode of travel, nor carrying ladders to reach the highest windows.
Yet they are often more equipped with just their hand stretched out, and words spoken from their hearts.

Sometimes they come into our lives for only a few moments, and other times they stay for a life time.

I want to say Thank You for having been such a wonderful Hero so many times in my own life.

My house wasnít on fire , yet often it felt as if it was, and you came and with your wisdom put a damper on that fire.
My skin was not bruised or torn that others could see, yet you came with your words and helped to heal and bandage me.

My heart has been broken and often I felt as if it could no longer go on beating for another beat, yet you brought me comfort and hope to see that even though my heart was broken it would heal.

You have heard and seen my pain, even understood far too unfairly with your own pain. Yet still you came when I called for help.

So perhaps you didnít arrive in a bright yellow jacket with the symbol of international life support upon the back of your jacket, yet in my minds eye I can and will always see you wearing your hard hat and carrying your medicine bag. Filled not just with a stethoscope or an IV for my pains, but with empathy , concern and love and most importantly wisdom.

The wisdom from your own learned trials, that together we can survive and thrive with the gifts we offer in each others lives.

Thank you Dave, for your never ending support and care and yes even the Love
you have shared.

May your new days to come be filled with much Peace, Happiness and Laughter.


PS For your Mrs., Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your spouse so freely with those of us who have benefitted from his kindness that surely has been shored up and supported by a very wonderful YOU!

#57700 - 09/20/05 01:56 PM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
beautifuldisaster Offline

Registered: 01/03/05
Posts: 85
Loc: usa
I think you have served as a wonderful bridge between the special other and the survivors.
Your choosing to be so unafraid to be truthful has lead to more complete understanding and better choices on the behalf of the special other.
You are a gem.


#57701 - 09/28/05 10:23 AM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 178
I'm a new member (partner of survivor)and have done much more more reading before plucking up courage to actualy write here. I would also like to say that Dave, your story, your wisdom, frankness and honesty have illuminated my life when it had gone very dark indeed.
There is no doubt that finding out,my partner and I were not on our own with this and that there are so many stories of hope and inspiration, has definatly been an importnat factor in saving our relationship. There would have been two more lonely souls without this help.


ps. We are also in the UK and would be interested in knowing about any other support, resources etc... you know of that might be of use, and maybe when we are a bit more "settled" I might be able to contribute. I'm happy to have that conversation privatly,(would need advse as to how)

#57702 - 09/29/05 01:05 AM Re: A big decision, and a big 'thank you'
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I work for a survivors charity here in Shropshire, but I do have contacts and info' that I'll post in the week.
If I don't - remind me please.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau


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