I'm finding that I'm pretty much capable of loving
others only to the degree that I love myself. If I love myself then I acknowledge & I know that I am loveable. Thus I can believe that others would be able to, and in fact do, love me too. Believing
& seeing that others love me chips away at the wall of mistrust & fear around me, freeing me to be love-able--able to love others back.
Convincing Little Victor that he is loveable & love-able is not easy. In his childhood opening a gate in the wall to let people in or try to reach
out invariably ended up either not working out too
well or in downright disaster. The rare times love was there he just didn't know what to do with it.
But Big Victor has been given a lot of love, especially over the last 23 years, from his wife & children. Little Victor has kept throwing up the wall, making it hard for Big Victor--and Little Victor--to receive or return that love.
But as Big Victor & Little Victor integrate, heal & become whole, we are dismantling the wall, opening up & reaching out. Ever so slowly & tentatively, yet surely & hopefully.
Oh yes, it's worth it!