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#56969 - 07/19/05 06:49 PM ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
rage Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/18/05
Posts: 4
Loc: uk
****** POST CONTAINS TRIGGERS******


I'm going to try to write this quite anomasusly because if my friend finds out i posted this i doubt that he'll be happy.

I've read a few of your posts and i feel rather frustrated-i've never really been S A myself and i feel rather well off about that i guess. What i say might get ur backs up a bit cause i guess i might be a little ignorant.

I'm 17 and my name is rage mainly to do with the fact that i'm so angry with the guy that hurt my friend. I don't know who hurt him but when i find out i want to kill him. I'm not alone in that.

My friend is sixteen, and the bastard who hurt him not only S A him but also drugged and beat him up to an inch of his life. It was bad to put it shortly. The doctors told us about what had happened after they checked him over and did operations on him. I think the operations were to sort out internal bleeding and stuff.

Its really confusing and i don't know where else to talk about this.

He's taken to doing some odd things that i was wondering whether they were really odd or not. Like he hides under the bed and behind sofas and stuff. Which he shouldn't be doing since he's not supposed to be walking yet.

He also hates it when people touch him and he's afraid of knieves. Which i guess is because he was stabbed as well. He has nightmares all the time and will sometimes have one even when he's awake.

He won't tell us about it and its so frustrating.

(edited by moderator to add trigger warning)

_________________________
I laugh at everything in life...so that life doesn't have a chance to laugh at me.

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#56970 - 07/19/05 07:57 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
****************Warning******************

The above post contains triggers

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#56971 - 07/19/05 08:02 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
rage Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/18/05
Posts: 4
Loc: uk
sorry i guess i forgot that

_________________________
I laugh at everything in life...so that life doesn't have a chance to laugh at me.

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#56972 - 07/19/05 08:19 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I had to report the post as it contained references to things that trigger me, and also a lot of others.

I am sorry about your boyfriend, this matter should be reported to the cops, he will also need some serious counselling.

This is a good place for the advice you seek, and people will respond, so be patient,

take care,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#56973 - 07/19/05 10:29 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Rage
when your friend was being worked on in hospital, given his injuries and age, then the doctors have a legal responsibility to report what they see to the authorities, the social services and police.

I live in the UK and work for a charity here that provides therapy for survivors, and I know that these procedures work quite well, certainly here in Shropshire where all the various organizations cooperate very well.

The feelings of 'revenge' that you feel are perfectly natural, but please don't act on them. The law will do that, especially with medical evidence.
You might want to vent your rage though, and a good scream might help?

If the attack has been recent then strange behaviours might be expected, and he will need support and reassurance from his friends for a while.
But please remember that you can't do the healing for him, but you can be there and support him.
That's worth so much to us.

If you send me a Private Message I will gladly send you any contacts I might have in your area that your friend might find helpful.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#56974 - 07/20/05 05:14 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
rage Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/18/05
Posts: 4
Loc: uk
****************Trigger Warning***************

Thank you for the replys. The matter was reported to the police when he was brought into hospital. He also already has a social worker assigned to him because of his age and lack of parents.

My friend, not my boyfriend by the way lives kinda far away in the USA while i'm in the uk. I guess thats how i got desinated with research duty as i don't need to look after him. Its a long distance relationship but it sort of works.

He has got a lot of support and is looked after by his sister (my bestfriend) and my other friends who occupy the house they live in. I guess thats good as quite a few of the storys that i've heard on here didn't or don't have much in the way of support.

I'm still wondering a little about his behaviour. One of my friends told me that its sometimes like looking after a frightened little kid. He still hides under the bed a lot. Is it usual for a sixteen year old to regress like that?

The main problem for my friends is the problem with touch. His injuries are such that he can't walk yet, even though he tries a bit. So he requires a lot of care that includes physical contact. Which is tough as he hates contact. He's got a lot of broken bones and stuff.

There is a lot of support as i said, the social worker is talking about getting a shrink in soon. Which i know my friend will hate cause he hates having to talk about his feelings and barely even talks a lot now.

My main reason for posting on here is to gain a better understanding i guess.

I hope that the law does something. It better do, all of us would love to see the guy put away. Although i'm not sure if we will be able to pursuade my friend to cooperate with the police. I hope he'll be ok.

I wasn't sure about the trigger thing so i added it.

_________________________
I laugh at everything in life...so that life doesn't have a chance to laugh at me.

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#56975 - 07/20/05 08:44 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
Ike Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 21
Loc: Virginia
Hi Rage; ****TRIGGERING****

I hid behind the couch and under the bed, even though I knew I would be found if someone wanted to find me. Being there gave me a feeling of safety which I needed badly. A feeling of safety is something I do not have to this day.

My family has known forever not to touch me; why, it's all happening again.

The nightmares, the main one I had was of being down a well upsidedown with my hands extended in front of me just barely able to hold myself out of the water so I could breath. I now understand this dream is a combination of his threat to drop me down one of the old wells on the farm an appropriate time after my parents didn't believe me and him laying on top of me so that I could not breath. I was small and he was a very heavy man.

As for the daytime nightmares, what someone says, what I see or my own thoughts can send me back to another time and another place and I didn't even have to buy a ticket. These places, I was not interested in being there the first time much less revisiting.

As for knives, I think that seems self-explanitory.

This is what those things mean to and for me.

Dwight


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#56976 - 07/20/05 10:57 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I had a primary nightmare also, and it contains triggers, and I cannot work it out.

It was like digging in a hole outside some house that was so scary to me, but i dug down to this door that was made of wood.

I was hitting this door with an axe or something, and the foul odour hit me, like it consumed me, and it was deep fear. It was like smelling death, and that to a kid is bad, and I always woke up screaming with fear.

The fear was behind that door, and it is the door of fear in my mind, maybe it was because I was locked into so much fear, and it manifested into a nightmare, but it scared the sh*t out of me,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#56977 - 07/21/05 07:34 PM Re: ***Triggers*** My friend ***Triggers***
rage Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/18/05
Posts: 4
Loc: uk
Thank you so much for your input its really helpful and i am really grateful for you taking the time to share. I am planning to visit him and my other friends this summer after school ends. Which is soon so i probuly won't have much time to post.

But you have been a lot of help and given me a lot to think about. When he's a bit more better, i'll give him this web address and the other stuff i found. I think he'll find it a comfort for him to know he isn't alone in what he went through, if that makes any sense.

Anyway thanks, and i do mean thanks really. I'll be leaving in the next few days and to be totally truthful i'm not sure when or if i'll be able to visit this website again. It all depends on if i need further advice or support from here.

I think he'll be alright, i hope so. He's got a lot to deal with i understand, but we'll all be there for him.

If i were religious then i'd bless you for your help. Since i'm not then you're just going to have to make do with my thanks and know that i mean it with all my heart.

_________________________
I laugh at everything in life...so that life doesn't have a chance to laugh at me.

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