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#56928 - 09/07/05 06:52 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

– Anne Lamott

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#56929 - 09/11/05 05:12 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Here's the latest.

After almost a week now of having all three kids back home, I'm heading to my 5 yo son's favorite water park tomorrow with him, my daughter, and her friend.

We went to Mass tonight, so the kids stayed up late. My boy fell asleep, half on my lap, watching "The Incredibles," and I carried him to bed a few minutes ago.

It's going to be hard seeing all three go with their mother tomorrow. The last time they were to go with her for a week, only two of them made it back home. I don't think she'd do that now, with the court order in place, but it will be hard for me to see them heading out Sunday night.

Thanks again for all the love, support, and prayers.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56930 - 09/27/05 02:43 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
wrangler Offline
Member

Registered: 09/06/03
Posts: 84
Loc: Northern Virginia
Joe

I have been away from the forum for a while now and just read your thread... it is quite a story and by the time I got to the end here it was feeling so familiar. My mother was a total whack job too. When she and my dad got divorced I was actually happy. When I spent time with my dad things felt normal, safe, fun, happy... etc

I just wanted to let you know that even though I didn't always let my dad see it, I thrived off his attetion and love for me... and it has been a memory I cherish to this day.

I hope all continues to go well.

W

_________________________
"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself." -Mary Schmich

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#56931 - 10/14/05 07:55 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Mystic Rhythm Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/05
Posts: 96
Loc: Limbo, clawing my way out...
Joe, any new news about your situation with the courts and custody of your children?

MR

_________________________
"Don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence" - Enigma, Return to Innocence

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#56932 - 10/14/05 10:07 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
AuthenticMe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 287
Wow, what a heart warming story of courage. I only hope that I can be as strong as you are when I am a father (one day). As a survivor, I always worry how I will adequately protect my children. You are a great model.

_________________________
I am a Man.

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#56933 - 10/14/05 11:06 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Joe,

Yes, please update us if you can. As I recall there was to be some resolution in October.

I do hope all this is going well for you.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#56934 - 10/29/05 05:06 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
I'm back.

We did not get divorced in October. We did not have all the appraisals (We own three houses) ready, and we had no agreement on custody. The lawyers wanted to avoid a court fight, or else my soon to be x wanted that.

The lawyers are trying to schedule a meeting for the four of us. I saw my kids' mother at my six year old's parent teacher conference today. She said the meeting is to dicuss the property division, and she told me what she wants (one property and cash). I don't know if that will work for me, but it's someplace to start. I just want to get through this and protect my kids.

I started a group therapy that's been helpful (entirely focused on the present, discussion of the past and/or any trauma is not allowed) and difficult (just because we don't discuss it there doesn't stop it from coming up inside). I'm real tired these days, but that'll pass, I suppose.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56935 - 11/01/05 03:36 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Mystic Rhythm Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/05
Posts: 96
Loc: Limbo, clawing my way out...
Good to hear from you Joe. I'm sure I speak for the majority here when I say our thoughts are with you.

MR

_________________________
"Don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence" - Enigma, Return to Innocence

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#56936 - 11/01/05 06:22 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Joe,

I hope all this works out. It will be complicated and a mess, looks like, but try to take it one day at a time. You seem to be maintaining a good attitude, but sure, I can imagine it is very wearying.

Glad you're back,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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