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#56918 - 07/31/05 01:54 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Hello, again, friends.

Today is hell. I have not prevented the older kids from continuing to visit the woman who bore them. This weekend is their regular time over at the TH with her. It is also two full weeks since I have laid eyes on my youngest son.

When their mother called the phone company and disconnected the phone service here last month, I bought my daughter a cell phone. That turned out to be a very good purchase, because I was able to talk with the kids while they were over there. (Her mother refused to let my daughter call me one night before she had her own cell.)

Yesterday she forgot to take the cell phone with her. I have only been able to get through once to their mother's cell phone and she was not with the kids then. I want to make arrangements to take the phone to my daughter, but I don't want her mother making a big scene of keeping my son away from me. I've been over there several times in the last two weeks, and their mother or their grandmother always keeps my son away from the door when I get there.

This is killing me inside. This is far and away the longest time any of the kids ever went without seeing a parent. Even when she first left she dropped in to claim more items every few days, until I changed the locks.

The woman is sick. Her mother is as bad, if not worse. I want to scream. I know she's trying to get a reaction from me, and I am doing my best to follow the C's advice (and my lawyer's advice) so that I do not contribute to the kids' pain or give the bitch ammunition to use against me in court.

The best news I heard this week: The C told me she expects the court will order psych evals for both of us. I know my issues and I've been working hard and making progress for years. My soon to be ex-wife told me again last week at the courthouse that she "doesn't need counseling." Bring on those evaluations.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56919 - 07/31/05 02:10 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Joe, you are a daddy through and through. No matter where the kids are. \:\(
Dads have a lot of jobs, they have to be the ones who listen and keep the peace, but they are also the ones who step in and get tough. I know you can do both when the time is right.

SAR


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#56920 - 08/26/05 02:19 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Wow, I didn't realize how long I'd been away.

SAR, if this is stepping in and getting tough, I'm all for it. Next week we finally have a custody hearing which I hope will lead to a court order returning my youngest son home to me and his siblings. The hoops I have been jumping through to see him are crazy. I've gone by the TH when I knew his mother wasn't there. I've sat in the waiting room at his C's office waiting for the session to end. Today I waited at the bus stop (because his mother enrolled him to repeat last year's grade at a new school), and his grandmother almost yanked his arm out of the socket trying to pull him away from me.

Ya know, if that had been one of his mother's boyfriends I coulda made a day of it.

One week to go, and I pray that the court will do him justice.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56921 - 08/26/05 03:50 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
My prayers are with you and your family.


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#56922 - 08/26/05 05:13 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Mystic Rhythm Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/05
Posts: 96
Loc: Limbo, clawing my way out...
Wow Joe! You are truly a remarkable father to care for your children the way you do. Should I ever have children of my own, I will be strong for them just like you are for yours. Your kind of devotion to your children is a true inspiration.

I believe you and your children will prevail!

MR

_________________________
"Don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence" - Enigma, Return to Innocence

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#56923 - 08/27/05 03:55 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Thanks, friends. I believe that everyone who posts here would do as much or more for their own kids. The kind of people who become part of the community here are the kind of people who take action against child abuse.

I will know in less than a week if my son is coming home again. His siblings are visiting his mother this weekend, as they do every two weeks, because I won't make them pawns in her sick game.

This is tiring, because I have to be careful not to get so down that I can't be there for the two kids she didn't "choose." She used to say to the 5 year old, in front of his brother and sister, that he could come live with her and "be an only child."

To me, that's a form of abuse. And it has to stop.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56924 - 09/04/05 10:39 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Hello, my friends.

We were in court on Thursday. The children are to be reunited. My soon to be ex is ordered to bring my son here by 6:00 p.m. tonight, and all three children will be with me for the week. Then she'll pick them up next Sunday, and I'll bring them back home the following Sunday, etc. until the final divorce proceedings in October.

My son is coming home in the next half hour. Until today, I didn't believe the world was large enough to contain so much joy!

Thanks for all the support, prayers, messages, and everything. You people are the greatest.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#56925 - 09/04/05 10:52 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Joe, Great News!!! Thanks for sharing, now there is even more joy in the world because I know we are all rejoicing with you \:\)


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#56926 - 09/05/05 12:27 AM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Joe,

Quote:
Until today, I didn't believe the world was large enough to contain so much joy!
What great news! I am so happy for you.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#56927 - 09/06/05 03:08 PM Re: A male survivor seeking advice
Mystic Rhythm Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/05
Posts: 96
Loc: Limbo, clawing my way out...
AWESOME!!

Let us know how your weekend went.

MR

_________________________
"Don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence" - Enigma, Return to Innocence

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