I just want to thank everyone who read and replied to my posts during the last 5 months. Five months ago, when my bf first confided in me, I was a wreck. Thank goodness for this site. I still read everything on this site almost every day. I follow the advice: looking after myself first, being patient (oh how I have learned to be patient and give plenty of time and space), being a better listener, understanding sabotage, etc. I didn't believe our relationship could ever be better than it was previously. Well, after five months of challenges, and extremely difficult times, things are going utterly awesome. I know that there are still tough times and unforeseen triggers ahead, but it's almost like starting over again and being able to re-appreciate the simple pleasures of light kisses and just being together. I try to respect his boundaries and give him the option to do things rather than ask him to do things, and I let him reach out to hold me or put his arm around me rather than me reaching for his hand.
He told me that the last two weekends we spent together doing fun things have been the most fun he's had in a long time. And he actually wants me to help him to enjoy life and not "work" it away. I think he realizes that, not only do I now know who's behind the mask, but that I really love the person behind the mask, and I'm not going anywhere.
Reading books helped a lot, but hearing the advice of those who have been through what my bf is going through, or those who know what I am feeling, has been a tremendous blessing. Thank you.