And welcome to MaleSurvivor. This family and friends forum was created exactly for the type of questions you are asking.
I hope it will bring you the understanding if not the answers you are seeking.
I want to encourage you to stick around and read. There is an extensive collection of material resources related to male sexual abuse. At the top of the page, under professionals, there is a rubric Articles. Click there and you will find much information.
But most importantly what I have found here is the experience, strength and hope that others have shared with me. Believe me, there are others who have felt the same as you.
As for your specific question, I think as you read others stories you will see that you are not alone. Indeed, sexual abuse of males causes a tremendous disruption in all areas of life; particularly acute in the areas of sexuality and intimacy.
These are complex problems; not really amenable to most self-help or do it yourself type efforts. Almost always, professional mental health professionals prove to be invaluable.
If your husband is not ready to look for help, then I would encourage you to 'lead by example', and seek some comfort and assistance for yourself.
In that way, you will be in a better place to help your husband and will be helping yourself.
If you need help locating mental health resources that are experienced in male sexual abuse issues, it is possible that some here will be able to help with that also.
I am sorry for what has brought you here to this place; but am glad that you have made available to yourself the help and assistance that this place has to offer.
It is possible to recover from the effects of sexual abuse; I know, because it is happening for me. So, you see, there is hope.
Come back and read or post as you like.
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"
-Tony Joe White