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#5644 - 04/01/06 08:21 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Kid A,

Lucid dreaming sounds like an interesting and valuable technique as well.

I think the thread that runs through all this is that, as I was suggesting in general, we CAN create safety for ourselves in this area. However we choose to face the dreams, we do need to face them. If we just fall apart and fear then, then they will continue to terrorize us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#5645 - 04/01/06 09:03 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
kuurt Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 168
Loc: louisiana
you know what is so wierd? the dream about the hands not attached to a body is almost EXACTLY the same as a reoccuring dream i used to have when i was litte. i used to always dream that my parents and i were driving over this huge bridge to get to this really tall building. when we get inside the building my mom disapears and i am walking around the building trying to find her. then i walk into this one room that has a wall that is completely glass. i look out the glass wall and there are these huge hands out there. they come into the room and start...doing stuff or whatever you wanna say. they are much bigger than i am (like twice the size of my body). then my mom comes into the room and has no head, so she can't help me. then i wake up scared shitless. wierd, huh? i used to always have that dream when i was little. now i have lots of dreams but they are much scarier than that.

_________________________
"if it keeps on rainin' the levee's gonna break.
and if the levee breaks, i'll have no place to stay"
-led zeppelin

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#5646 - 04/01/06 09:13 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Kurt,

Thanks for contributing that example; the similarity between our dreams is striking, as you say.

The message behind yours seems to be this: I'm in a situation I don't understand and it's way beyond my control. My Mom isn't "there" to help me, and even when I'm around her she doesn't see that something bad is happening to me. I feel really exposed and powerless; I can't stop his hands from touching me and doing things to me that I don't want.

The disembodied hands show how much we focused on the hands of the abuser approaching us, and in your case the size of the hands suggests how afraid you were.

I can really understand how terrible this one must have been for you, not to mention the others that you don't talk about. Part of the terror when you are a teenager is that it seems like you're all alone and this terrible stuff is only happening to you. When you talk about it here, you not only help yourself but also reach out to other teenagers in a similar situation.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#5647 - 04/01/06 10:13 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
its 4 am more fever dreams want to talk know i shouldnt

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#5648 - 04/01/06 10:14 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
its 4 am more fever dreams want to talk know i shouldnt

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#5649 - 04/01/06 10:15 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
its 4 am more fever dreams want to talk know i shouldnt

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
#5650 - 04/01/06 11:24 AM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
kuurt Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 168
Loc: louisiana
dude, shadow, talk about it.

_________________________
"if it keeps on rainin' the levee's gonna break.
and if the levee breaks, i'll have no place to stay"
-led zeppelin

Top
#5651 - 04/01/06 05:03 PM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
shadow,

I agree with Kuurt. You might feel safer at first talking to someone you trust about it in a PM. Just a thought.

(((((shadow)))))

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#5652 - 04/02/06 05:05 PM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
nymij Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/29/06
Posts: 16
Loc: Dallas Metroplex
Below is a resource on lucid dreaming.

I do re-read these posts and pick up things on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th... read. This time around I picked up the discussion on lucid dreaming.

A while back (10yrs or so) before I started to adress my abuse and subsequent ramifications, I came accross a book that to my surprise introduced me to a new subject for me, lucid dreaming. I was searching for information related to my nightmares (night terrors, as I call them).

Although the author is a "religious," I was more interested in the content, and had never paid attention to him and his writing has not converted me. However, he discussed the concept of lucid dreaming and states of consiousness from being awake (not awakened), to asleep, different stages of dreaming, and finaly death. I did not read into the death stage (in retrospect, that is telling), but read through to the last 1/3 of the book that deals with death. Personally, I do not know anyone alive, that I would completely trust to talk about your state of consiousness when you die...

Specifically, I was impressed with the thought of recognizing that you are in a dream, and attempting to manipulate the dream for a different outcome. In my case, less of a terrified outcome of a nightmare.

What I found was that by virtue of reading this book, I started to recognize when I was at a certain point of dreaming and eventually began to work the dream. It was working. Unfortunately, it was not helpful with my nightmares, I think due the emotional level of them. If the people that know me heard me talking about understanding levels of consiousness and eastern thought, they would laugh, but I got a lot out of he book and when one is desperate for answers, I would read anything that made relative sense.

The book is called: Sleeping, Dreaming & Dying, Exploring the Consiousness, by The Dalai Lama. It's on Amazon.

I hope this helps.

_________________________
Phil 3:13

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#5653 - 04/02/06 09:54 PM Re: Creating Safety, III: Nightmares (***** triggers in two examples*****)
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
guys i do intend to explain ,but my question is what do i expect to get from explaining ,i know there is nothing you guys can do to stop my nightmares ,all it can do is make someone else worry or feel bad ,not what i want at all .you know if i describe my dreams,and somebody gets triggered its not good ,why the hell do i have this need to talk about things that in the end i have to figure out for myself .no sleep makes it hard to think to even post. all the ideas given seem to be good ones but you know there are bad dreams and then there are nightmares ,bad dreams i think do respond to the things mentioned here ,even dreams about abuse cause you can change the outcome ,but nightmares are so out of control that even though i am aware i'm dreamming ,all i can do is listen to what the dreams are telling me ,the meaning of my dreams is not hidden ,its clear to see.and i think i understand why i have them ,but i cant stop them ,sorry this is wasting valuable space here .i'm just so tired . adam

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
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