Guys - I felt like that so very often [I die daily...]...even slid so far that I thought about ending it all. BUT I began taking Prozac and found whenever I started "sliding down that greased flagpole of life toward the dark cloud of depression",
it felt like a hand grabbed me (Prozac) and no matter what
I couldn't slide any further.
After a while, the depression would pass (sometimes it took 'til morning when I woke up).
I also began to work on my thinking by including short phrases I learned. Such as:
I like everyone - some when they come and some when they go! The first 3 words lifted the positive and gave positive direction to my thinking.
Tell me what you CAN do not what you CAN'T! Whatever I was worried or anxious about that I had no control over, I swept away and focused instead on what I could do then and there. Then - I started doing it. Depression zaps motivation, strength and direction. The more I could accomplish something, I gained a bit of strength.
The Serenity Prayer and it's wisdom reminded me to know, identify and apply the courage to change the things I could.
It was easier for me to slide down than to stop in order to climb up!! Surviving and healing isn't easy. I'm still climbing!! Hope it helped!!