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#55855 - 03/20/03 10:55 PM Seeking information about retreats
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Anyone out there have any personal experience with having been to one of MS's retreats. If they are anything like some of the conversations that I've had on this site, they must be helpful. How intense are they? I'm thinking of attending the one in the fall and would like to get to know someone here who is also thinking about attending.
Any information would be helpful.
Thanks,
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#55856 - 03/21/03 02:25 AM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Jess Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 107
Loc: California
David,

You are right about the people who post here. They are wonderful, supportive, understanding and kind.

I have never been to a MaleSurvivor Retreat, but I am going to my first one in April. I expect that it will be a great time of learning, sharing and healing. I will be happy to report to you after I've been there.

In the meantime, I know that others here have attended past retreats and hopefully someone will share in this post what they experienced.

Glad to see that you are here and getting the understanding and support you deserve.

Sincerely, Jess.


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#55857 - 03/21/03 05:52 AM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Hey, Jess,
Thanks for writing. Looking forward to your "report"
Just got out of the chat room met a couple of great guys. What a group. You guys are great. I guess I already said that. Good night.
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#55858 - 03/22/03 03:01 AM Re: Seeking information about retreats
RickL Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 84
Loc: Oregon
Ivanhoe,

I went to the MS retreat in NY in September. It exceeded my expectations.

The first evening is spent on discussing what everyone there needs to feel safe. A large portion of the time is meeting in smaller groups, where you can share and listen to others. The candor and care expressed was incredible to me--helped me gain some very helpful insights.

Well worth attending one if you can! By the way, welcome to MS. I see you also live in Oregon! I live in Bend.

Rick


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#55859 - 03/22/03 03:40 AM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Hey, RickL,
Thanks for your comments regarding your retreat experience. I had my heart set on getting to Port Orchard in the fall but now I see that they have labeled it a Level 2. Jess responded by encouraging me to attend the Il one the first part of April.
That date conflicts with another Chicago trip already in the works.
I do appreciate you responding with encouragement.
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#55860 - 03/23/03 05:24 PM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Mark Crawford Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 73
Loc: New Jersey
Ivanhoe, There is also a retreat the weekend of May 23 in Florida...maybe that will work for you.

Regarding the retreats..I attended the same retreat Rick had attended, (as a participant) it was truely incredible and very much worth attending. It was amazing to see many of these men, who at first seemed to be aprehensive or should I say gaurded. By the end of the weekend the TRUST, Openness, support and sharing was just awesome. I saw many men empowered that weekend....empowered to heal, share, and grow. I am not sure I am doing any justice here trying to put that weekend in words but I can tell I know many of the men that weekend found others who had walked the same road, realizing they were no longer alone, they built new support systems and/or networked with those they had shared so much.

A TRUELY ENRICHING EXPERIENCE!

After attending one of these retreats you will know that you are no longer a VICTIM of sexual abuse but a SURVIVOR....a MaleSurvivor. I had been working on my own healing for years, although I too was not sure what to expect I am truely glad I made that weekend. I think you will be too!

If you can't make any this year I know there is more scheduled for early next year and I believe one will take place in Canada. But if you make one in April or May then you could attend the one in Port Orchard in the fall if you wish. The level two retreats were created because of the demand for those who wanted to return for further work and healing.

Be well....Mark


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#55861 - 03/24/03 02:00 PM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Sparky,
Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions. I tried like hell this weekend to see if I could work out making the retreat in Princeton. Even the love of my life was in on the deliberation. I think my anxiety level rose to levels I try to avoid these days--I didn't get to bed until three this AM, thinking that I was a wuss for not, "just doing it."
All of this is happening almost too quickly for me. I just discovered you guys last week and I've been overwhelmed--mostly with joy--at your friendliness, warmth and candor. You might say that I've not met many men like you in my life. God, what you'd hope a bigger brother would be--what you'd hope to be as a bigger brother. You guys are all of that and more. Some of you are little brothers, ones like I always wanted to have. The brother to put my arms around and tell him that everything is going to be all right. Thanks, you guys, for being all of that and more. I'm going to take all of this new found freedom of friendship a little slower, savoring your gifts of love.
For someone who hasn't talked about any of these most private and secretive events with anyone but a few chosen family members--my wife and daughters and therapist--this opportunity has almost bowled me over. I'm looking forward to posting here and meeting more of you. Thank you---WHAT A BROTHERHOOD!!
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#55862 - 03/24/03 04:07 PM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Mark Crawford Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 73
Loc: New Jersey
Dave...you should take it slow. I remember being in a similar situation at one time in my recovery. I know I had this insatiable appetite for information and of course speaking with those whose stories, experiences, feelings and emotions were so much like my own. It is GREAT but can become overwhelming...you have so much to process....it becomes like information overload. But this time it is good or positive.

David, welcome to MaleSurvivor and thank you for your kind words...I hope you continue to find the support and healing we all come here to find. I wish you well on the begining of this new journey...a journey from victim to survivor!

Be well and know that you are always welcome here.

Mark


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#55863 - 03/24/03 06:53 PM Re: Seeking information about retreats
Jess Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 107
Loc: California
(((((David))))) [many "hugs" David]

Mark is right. Each person needs to progress at his own pace. Things will come together for you when the timing is right. Only you will know when that time is. There is no need to rush it.

Please don't cause yourself to stress and lose sleep over this. My understanding is that retreats are scheduled about three times per year. First time retreat attendees are given priority. Some places are also reserved for repeat attendees. God will work things out if it is the right time for to attend.

David, please be kind to yourself and to those who love you --- Get more sleep! HA! Like Mark said, it does take time to process all the new information and new thoughts and feelings. Just remember we are here to offer you support whenever you need it. You're no longer alone, my brother. \:\)

Sincerely, Jess.


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