Well, for sure the dreadful effects of childhood sexual abuse are pretty clear to see. They get listed in various places here and in almost every post we see these effects.
I am in AA for quite a few 24 hours at a time. My alcoholism had a lot do do with wanting immediate relief of pain, getting feelings from alcohol that I had not been able to get anywhere else--e.g. temporary peace, decent sleep, feeling more like others and less a freak.
But alcohol was the big liar and it let me done with a bang. I became a slave to it and wanted more and more. That is when I knew it was too much like the life of my alcoholic parents and I went running to AA.
I have not had a drink today, probably will make it through the next few hours because I am goiing to my home meeting.
The sexual abuse stuff--it gets better and I get better. But I can't just not think certain thoughts--AA is so much easier for me.
But, things are better and I know that they will be for you too. But getting teere can demand more of you that you can imagine--and even so, it sure is worth it.
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.