hey stefan

It must have been hard to stand there before your dad, but its nice to hear you are through that part. Hopefully everything will go a lot easier now.

John

I hope so

I just had a really bad panicattack/flashback at school.. I hadn't been going to school last week so today was like, first day back again.
I don't even know what triggered it... I don't remember what the flashback was about either.
It was in the middle of the hall, we were walking to the next class... I hadn't been able to pay attention to class or to anyone really so far.
I just know that I had a flashback, followed by a panicattack... I was like 'away' for a bit I don't know how to explain it, but I don't remember a part that's for sure.
According to my friends I like sank to the floor and started to breath weird, and shivering really bad, eyes rolled away that must have been freaky to see.
I only know that when I was like, back, i was sitting on the floor against the wall, hugging myself, still shivering and breathing wrong a bit..
A teacher talking to me but not understanding a word of it.
Rest of the students were send away thankfully so I wasn't a total monkey in the zoo.
Teacher and a few friends bringing me to a teachersoffice, giving me some water to drink.
They still talking I'm still not really understanding it/listening to them.
So when I calmed down some my friends brought me 'home'.
Well, at least now I'm sure they think i'm a freak, the rest of the students, not my friends.
sigh... o well.

Stefan

who cares about those other kids?
like you said, they're not your friends
so who cares what they think?

you know and your friends know that you are a strong, enduring person with plenty of good qualities and a big responsibility on your shoulders

that's what counts

Stefan,

As you may have read in a past post of mine, I had a bad FB in front of a customer (a major university Dean). I tell you this so that you realize, I know the pain you going through with regard to the scene where it happened. I felt awful about it, but am getting better having realized that I went through something THEY will never understand. My customer, your schoolmates, the teachers..none of them will ever know what you or I went through. They no nothing of what they just saw either. If they judge what they don't understand..then to hell with them. (I know..not easy to say in school)

I assure you, it was worse in your own mind than for the few who saw. I know school kids can be really cruel at times like this...but do give this a chance. You may find that there are no negative results. You may even find some positive results. I'm so happy to hear you say that you have friends there who could take you home.

And you have a BUNCH of people here who think the world of you!

That's the truth, Friend, and I have a hunch your closer friends will cut you some slack on this and that they care about you as well. If not they wouldn't have stuck with you and made sure you got home.

Lots of love,

John

Stefan,

These things do happen sometime, and there's nothing you can do about that. Just try to avoid getting down on yourself about it. The flashbacks show you are still under a lot of stress, and who could blame you for that?

Remember also that our anxiety about what people know and think can make us blow the real situation all out of proportion. Your friends will hang with you, Stefan, and for the others this will probably be an incident that will be forgotten about in a few days.

Much love,
Larry

I doubt they'll forget.. but I guess I gotta try to not mind so much.. I can try..
It isn't even the first time I freaked out at school, just up until now I could mostly get away from everyone, like I could go to a toilet before it got huge.
So I don't know... I guess I'm afraid I will keep getting panicattacks in places like this. Cause like I said, it wasn't the first time.
I just hate this.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Stefan

i had a few panic attacks to the point where i hypervenlated....and passed out.....a couple at school when i was young and in school.........no one knew why.this happened.............i didnt know why.........they just carried me to the nurses station........i came out of it....went on my way.....had one at work...same way...long time ago....

Sorry to hear about the flashback Stefan..
If you want to talk, please do ok?
How are you doing now?
Gonna enjoy koninginnedag I bet?? (queensday)
Well, hope to talk to you soon.

Alexander