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#54254 - 12/14/06 03:50 AM my (mostly) whole story..
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
deleted

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#54255 - 12/14/06 04:54 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
Batcountry, that took a lot of guts to write. I hope it brings you some peace to write it.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

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#54256 - 12/14/06 05:41 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3389
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Bat,

I am so sorry for what all you been through

you got friends here - keep talking to us - we understand...

I don't think no less of you

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#54257 - 12/14/06 06:15 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
no fuckin assholes here dude just people in pain trying to find a way out. we all had to make this post at one time or another, and we all felt just like you .its ok you did good

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#54258 - 12/14/06 06:43 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Glad you were able to put it all out. It took alot of courage and I am so glad to see you do something so good for yourself. Hope to hear from you again as there is soooo much to get out and I care.


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#54259 - 12/14/06 07:25 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Dan01 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/21/02
Posts: 18
Loc: S. California
Bat,
Im so sorry for all the shit you've been through. I can relate to some of it. You are definatley NOT AlONE!!! Keep comming back. We can all relate in some way, Take Care and stay strong


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#54260 - 12/14/06 04:18 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Now I understand where you're coming from Bat. I've made mistakes too.


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#54261 - 12/14/06 04:47 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
what can you do but cry after reading that. you know, i know stuff like this happens. kids deserve better. you deserved better.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#54262 - 12/14/06 05:53 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Koveri Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/06
Posts: 80
Loc: Dallas, TX
Bat,

We don't care what you've done or haven't done in your past. You have already shown what a caring and courageous dude you are by writing what you did. Once you get it out, you are in a position to totally change. Use your fighting spirit to fight for yourself and for healing from all the shit that has happened to you. You don't have to carry the guilt any longer.


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#54263 - 12/14/06 06:08 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
deleted

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#54264 - 12/14/06 06:30 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
considering all, i dont think that's a bad ending. the fact you have pulled yourself up as far as you have is remarkable. i wish you the best. a simple life with simple things can sometimes be the best. i have a simple job, a small home, a couple old cars. we live check to check, but it is a good life. i wouldnt trade it for anything. i wish you as well, and hope someday you can make peace with all that has happened in some way.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#54265 - 12/14/06 08:21 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
thanks phoster

but sometimes i think im gonna fall back down again. i still dont have a job here. my sister is now giving me money, just so i can pay rent. she says its a christmas present but she is already paying for me to go spend christmas with her, i know she just feels sorry for me. i drink pretty much every day. i know it is better than being homeless but i feel like im not very far from it. i am not even sure if im trying anymore... the main focus is just, keeping alive... and not becoming totally insane... well we will see how that turns out i guess

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#54266 - 12/14/06 08:54 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Alexander Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 223
Loc: The Netherlands
Hey Bat,

That took a lot of courage, to write all of that down, wow. I agree with Poster, you've pulled yourself together very well, after all of that happened.
Keep talking alright, you've got friends here!

Alexander

_________________________
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

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#54267 - 12/14/06 08:58 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
You're a survivor in the truest sense. But what strikes me about you Bat, is that, although obviously scarred, you've come out a good person that doesn't want to hurt anyone and just wants to live his life and be left alone.

Sure you did the best you could, and you know what? You didn't do that bad either, cuz you had a shitty deal growing up, I can't really imagine a better storyline given how you had to start out in life.


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#54268 - 12/14/06 10:52 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Halibut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Hi Bat,

Geez you've been through hell but shown strength and cleverness throughout. You got your GED-- an awesome accomplishment with all the chaos in your life. You never gave up on things getting better.

I'm glad you posted it, and like the other posters I read every word. Bat, that had to be really tough for you to post.

don't be afraid or embarrassed to take your sisters help for now. she cares about you and it is ok to get help when you need it.

Hang in there, keep up the good fight.

Halibut


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#54269 - 12/15/06 05:22 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Bat,
This took an enormous amount of courage. I'm in awe of how you have been able to survive at every level. You're safe here with us and with your story. ya know, you didn't HAVE to tell us the whole story, but now that you did, I understand you a lot more. I now know where all the pain is coming from. Glad you're here. Keep posting. It will help. We're here for you.
Paul


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#54270 - 12/15/06 05:30 AM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3389
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Bat,

I have read every word you have typed -

no matter what life has dealt you - you have always found a way to make it through - you got a lot of stength in you

it takes a lot of courage to post about our pasts - but I hope that you are finding that people here really do understand

keep talking - we are listening - and we do care

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#54271 - 12/15/06 12:16 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Batcountry,

I read all of it. I have not met you. But I have great respect for you. As others have said, you are a survivor in all sense of the word.

I have a friend who was homeless and on the street for a time as a teenager, and doing sexual things for money. He is the strongest person I know, and has more integrity then most anyone I've met. Such past things can't tarnish what is real about a person.

I am glad you have found yourself here, and I hope you remain, and continue to make use of this site. There are very good people here who can give good advice, and just be here to hear what you say and understand. Please take good gentle care of yourself.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#54272 - 12/15/06 08:34 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
thank all you guys so much for all these responses. they are way more positive than i thought they would be. and it makes me feel like i didnt make a mistake in posting it, and maybe im not quite as bad a person as i think i am

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#54273 - 12/15/06 08:42 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
today is a new day. the past doesnt have to own you.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

Top
#54274 - 12/15/06 09:43 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Bat,
Stop beating yourself up. You are NOT the bad guy here. You were dealt an impossible hand and survived. You're the strong one here. Be nicer to yourself. Look at how you've managed.
Paul


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#54275 - 12/15/06 09:59 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Bat, I havent read yr story its too long, but hey, you have a roof over your head.
The main thing is having a roof and food.

I am glad your sis is looking after you, but I hope it all gets better not worse.
None of you guys should ever be homeless, never, and I really hope it doesnt happen.

Always remember you are worth a lot more than you think,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#54276 - 12/15/06 11:07 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
batcountry Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 263
Loc: the ether
sorry, im trying to be positive, but i always come across as negative i guess.

also im sorry its so long, i didnt mean it to be, it just came out that way.

_________________________
nothing to see here

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#54277 - 12/16/06 06:10 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Bat,
Stop apologizing for how long your post is. It's as long as you need it to be. Remember, you did it for you as well as for us. Get more of it out. And I re-read your last post and saw that you did not mean it to be negative. That's the really hard thing about email - no tone of voice, no facial expressions, no body language and so we have to take things at face value of the words. I once had a huge misunderstanding for sending an email to my boss that had, what I thought, was a funny wry tone to it. He took it as angry. oops. It was sorted out quickly, but taught me never to use sarcasm, irony, wry-ness, or anything other than plain speak when doing this sort of stuff. So sorry I misread your tone!
You're doing amazingly well.
Paul


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#54278 - 12/18/06 05:19 PM Re: my (mostly) whole story..
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
Bat,

I know you wont' be able to read this until later, but I just wanted to say I applaud all the guts it took to tell your story here. I know we shouldn't compare, but I haven't been through a tenth of what you have, so in a way I look up to the courage I've seen in you.

As we've talked in chat a few times, I've been able some of the good things shine through about the person you are becoming. I'm glad I've been able to meet you. I hope your time away is good, and I hope to see you when you get back.

Take care, Keith


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