I am not sure where my head is right now. I have been unable to sleep, so been responding to emails, and (finally) responding some here again. And I just disappear of myself for few minutes, kind of do the 'zone out' thing, where I forget what I am writing, and do not recall what I have read here, and look over to see my arm bleeding. I did NOT cut myself, I have not done that in a week now. But I guess I broke out a scab on my arm or something. I do not recall what I did to make it bleed. And I look at the clock, and I know i have mentally 'gone away' for few minutes, but can not even think of how long, or how many. It is not like I sometime will do, where I disappear from myself for hours (or even days) at a time, it is just a few minutes, but still, it feels I am a little crazy. I know I have done things to harm myself, or caused trouble for myself when I have 'zoned' before. Maybe I am just posting this here to have someone, even one person, say 'Okay, you aren't crazy'. I guess I will go back to making responses now.

Leosha

Leosha,

Sometimes I don't know where my head is. Lost in its own little world, maybe taking a vacation. It is good to see you back again, out of your self-imposed exile.

I am glad you have given up the cutting and are allowing yourself to heal up. Keep it up. You are not crazy, your healing.

Take care,
Bill

Leosha, I remember a psychiatirst I listened to many years ago saying that if a patient tells us that he/she thinks they are going crazy, they aren't. Really crazy people do not think they are crazy, they think everyone else is.

It sounds like you either space out from anxiety for a few minures, or it is some form if dissociation. It would not be strange for things here to be such a reminder of things that hurt you that you would check out for a while. My group therapist says that I do that in group from time to time.

Enjoy life some now if you can.

Bob

Uh oh Bob, I'm in trouble.

Bill

I have known people who have intentionally cut or hurt themselves before. They were testing to see if they could feel anything, anything at all, even pain, usually they couldn't. They did this when they were in a very dark place that needed some light. The light of understanding and hope. Some were even suicidal, but I have been able to help them come out of that dark place. They too would dissasociate themselves from their bodys. They were usually searching deep for answers. Nothing made any sense to them. I was able to bring them hope. When the fears of pain and the darkness of death is removed, it can be very difficult for people to understand why life exists and what it is about. They search for purpose and meaning. That purpose does exist. That meaning does exist. Everybody has different opinions of what they are. For me, the purpose is to do the best that I can and to help others in the process. To be a good, kind, honest, generous, caring person. I hope you will find some light to guide you out of the dark places within your mind. If I can help you, I will try to.

Leosha,

I know you're not crazy.

As for myself, well sometimes I think, "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell."

Then again, other times I think I'm crazy.

Thanks,

Joe

You aren't crazy, Leo.

Peace and love,

Scot

On this subject I have a certain thought and that is the whole world is crazy but we know we are and therefore we have a whole lot better insight than those who think they are not crazy.

Does that sound crazy??? I hope not.