To try to catch everybody up, I'll go for the short version of what's happened. I fell on some ice in the parking lot of work in December. I had surgery in February, and went back to work in March. I was terminated (three different times, actually), but my last day of work was May 30. My lawyer (for worker's comp) sent me to a clinic today for an evaluation of the knee for worker's comp. It's still up in the air, but the fact that I will have a permanent disability because of this really hit me hard. Then I went to a nearby mall to see a movie, and I went to see "A.I." (Artificial Intelligence). That was a big, big trigger movie for me, and I cried and cried. Now I'm faced with trying to find a job with a disability. (Yes, employers are not supposed to discriminate, but they do.)
Plus, people in government have their jobs for life and don't want to actually work if they don't have to, so they tell you why they can't help you rather than how they can. I'm scared, lonely, and don't have a lot of hope for the future. I don't think I could commit suicide, but I keep hoping that I will just not wake up one day.

Scott,

Hang in there Scott. I hear that you feel alone and scared. As you well know, there are a lot of ups and downs on this road. Keep your chin up. Things will get better!

God Bless,

Brian

I wish for you a job.

Something is bound to turn up.

Keep your head up, Scott.

One day at a time scott, thats all you got to tackle, and dude, keep talking, it helps.

The tide will shift, things will move, you will rise again.

I have confidence in you.

John

The movie A.I. was a triger for me too.
Some of us must have a little boy in us wanting a mother to say she loves us.
I can't remeber when my mom ever would have said this to me. It would have to be before I was eight years old, because thats when we had moved to Denver, Colorado.
Most of my memorys of then is drinking related times.
fmighell Anc Ak

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: fmighell ]

One problem is that the orthopedic doctor has never release me from his care, I just "fired" him because of his staff's rudeness and incompetence. He was rude, too. I know what you mean about discrimination. It is not supposed to happen, but all the employer has to say is that I'm not qualified, and there is no proof of discimination. I had surgery on my knee back in February, but recovered pretty quickly. I know what you mean about physical therapy. I did that for two months.
They do find new ways to torture you. I actually miss it, though. I had to go to the regular doctor today. He thinks that I may have an ulcer, but I can't get a pre>

I know it is hard, I know what it is like changing jobs, and looking for something new.
Hang in there. I am here if you need to talk.