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#53869 - 03/15/03 02:26 AM I am very very PISSED
taipan Offline
Member

Registered: 03/09/03
Posts: 57
Loc: CT
I just read some advise that my "friend" Lloydy gave my wife in the family forum. She was worried what I was doing while I was out of the house and he went on to tell his story of how was acting out sexually and how secretive he was about it. Well that made my wife extremely paranoid and ruined the trust between us. My "friend" Lloydy is a moderator here and he fucked this one up big time. I NEVER have acted out sexually outside my marriage in the 22 years I have known my wife. Again his story made my wife extremely paranoid and caused great conflict between us. She identified with other behaviors in me here and was sucked into believing his story was mine. I AM NOW SO PISSED I JUST CAN NOT CONTROL MY ANGER. You should be more careful sharing your stories with others because you messed this marriage up BAD!! I will never forgive you for this. You drove her and me NUTS because you just had to share YOUR story. My wife had breast cancer twice; I would NEVER abandon or betray her. SHAME on you Lloydy.


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#53870 - 03/15/03 10:11 AM Re: I am very very PISSED
alan's marc Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 9
Loc: ontario
taipan, i am the spouse of a survivor. over the short time that i have been coming here, i/we have received nothing but respect, support, friendship, understanding, acceptance, and a shelter from the storms of past abuse.

lloydy has abolutely nothing but most kind and loving intentions at heart. do not accuse him of anything less. his words are neither malicious nor abusive. if you do not agree with this, then maybe consider taking up the anger or blame issue with your doctor or therapist, but please, it does not belong in this forum.

respectfully,
marc.


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#53871 - 03/15/03 11:02 AM Re: I am very very PISSED
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Taipan,

First let me express heartfelt sorrow that you and your wife are having such difficulties since reading Llyody's post.

I have to echo all of Marc's words except that last part, sort of. Maybe this does belong in the UDF forum, but I hope you, Taipan can stay here and work with Llyody and all of us here at MS to help you resolve this issue.

Taipan, sadly I must completely disagree with where you are placing the blame and anger. Llyody has absolutely no place or even cause for it. Llyody was sharing only from his experience. He is not responsible in any way for how your wife has reacted.

To speak frankly, it seems as you said, your wife had worries before the post and her reaction after the post, well the bottom line is she has chosen to believe that Llyody's story is what you are doing in you life.

I'm not sure where your anger does belong Taipan, but it doesn't belong on Llyody.

Marc is right, the two of you should get some therapy/counsiling as soon as possible. My heart goes out to you both.

jer


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#53872 - 03/15/03 06:44 PM Re: I am very very PISSED
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Taipan has posted another post apologising for expressing his emotions so strongly, so I am going to close this to prevent further comment.
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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