I am not sure if this is just me, or if it is something that happens with other people also. I am feeling I need something right now, and I don't know what it is. I'm having emotions coming upon me right now, and I know where some of them are rooted, and do not have any idea of others. My brother's birthdate is coming up this next week, and for the first time, it is effecting me, because this time last year he was a vague memory in a bad dream only. Just last month I visited his grave for the first time, and felt close with him, felt so much love and attachment to this little boy I haven't seen in almost 20 years. I am sure that is part of the 'on edge' feeling I am having right now, along with not sleeping, and still feeling ill. I wish so much I could go to sleep for about a week, a restful sleep, not my normal, and wake up alive and feeling strong and healthy, instead of what I've been feeling like for couple weeks now. And of course, being sick makes me more triggered. So it is like going like some rodent on the wheel right now. Being sick makes me triggered-being triggered makes me lose sleep and not eat good-which keeps me sick.
Whoever here might know what I need, give it to me! uck!
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963