Today is my first anniversary on this site (looked here a few days before, but New Year was my significant moment) -what a year it's been.

*Found the BEST GROUP OF BROTHERS anywhere - yes you!
*Found that I have some of the best and most supportive friends that I could ever wish for. One of my friends in particular deserves a knighthood for services to humanity - has stood by me when I have changed mood more times than a clock ticks. Has allowed me to openly sob all over him in a public place (York *I frightened the death out of a Canadian tourist that had joined us for drinks). My 2 other best friends that know have listened to me and supported me with humour / invitations / telephone calls etc.
*Have been supported at work by people that are allegedly 'ice'.
*Have recognised that I am 'worthy'.
*Traced an old friends grave (killed in an accident at 16 when I was 15).
*Faced up to the fact that I have not grieved for anyone that has died since I was abused & have now allowed myself to do so.
*Broke the vow that I made at 12 that I would never cry for, or over anyone again.
*Added a small tattoo to my collection, that is a Chinese Symbol meaning 'Promise or Vow' - I promise/vow to myself that I will never let myself get so low again - I touch it when I need to and recite that sentence.
*I have reclaimed the sites where I was abused throughout the seasons of the year.
*I made a 15 page statement of complaint against 'my abuser' to the police & also lost some of my dislike of 'people in authority' in the process (the policeman I spoke to is a really excellent human being - also recommended for honours).
*Finally told my sister - my biggest dread.
*My 3 best friends have now made statements to the police clarifying how I have been since I first opened 'Pandora's Box' to them. The 3rd statement was actually made today just after my friends Grandfather (a Dunkirk Veteran) had died - that's a real friend, he could have told them to come back later.
*Have now accepted that I am loved by many people.

I could go on - but what a difference from standing on a high bridge, looking down into the river & wanting to jump. All that stopped me was that the water was slow moving, so wouldn't carry me away & that I knew that when I hit the water I would start swimming. I have been swimming ever since (sometimes get tangled in the weeds, but I get away from them)... it's the river of life & I intend to swim there for as long as I can.

2005?

What an opportunity!

Best wishes / love / peace / happiness / achievement of your dreams / health / wealth and respect to everyone - from Rik in the greatest appreciation I can possibly give to everyone.

*A toast to you all - I'm having a 'glass' of The High Tree Cabernet Sauvignon, 2002 Vintage (McLaren Vale / Australia) - it's as warming to my heart as each of you are....sweet dreams!

Rik,

What a wonderful tribute and acclamation of life itself. This will touch anyone who reads here, tonight. It has touched me, deeply.

Thank you for reminding me to count my blessings,

David

Rik, David is right, very touching.

The best for the new year, you are making it happen

You all make it happen!

You all make it happen!

And do you know what - I have just read another post here & I still realise that I am just waiting for someone else to let me down....I don't think it's going to happen now....my fear is unreasonable...the support is without question!

That's me saying that - hell you've all got hope ...believe me.

Thanks Rick!

Wonderful comments!

Thanks everyone for the stregth you give to others!

A year of healing......A year of hope.....

Thank you for that great, positive post!

May 2005 bring to you greater blessings than you can now even imagine.

Wishing you all the best life has to offer Rick. Peace, Andrew