Well, I'm have been thinking about joining and finally did it. Its difficult. I'm not in any group but am in therapy. (and have been for quite some time)

I was emotionally abused by my mom growing up and am married with kids. I suppose I have all the classic symptoms and wonder if I will ever heal. . . or what healing means. I'm angry that others don't have these problems. My intensity makes me so great - while at the same time it makes me so weak -- and dare I say it - suicidal.

I am trying to build a positive sexual relationship with my wife. I have all kinds of gender and identity issues. I was the third parent in my parents' relationship. My father told me "as an artist -- I should have been a girl." and my mom well. . . lets not go there. Everything became sexual with her -- men were/are bad. She even sexualizes my 8 year old. I want her out of my life - yet i struggle with keeping some relation with her. Sometimes I just don't know why.

I have come to this site a few times - and the chat function doesn't seem to be popular.

I look forward to meeting and talking with people here.

Artistic_David

Hi Dave,

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. I'm glad you finally registered and are beginning to take a more active role in your recovery. From what I have experienced, the more effort that you put in to the recovery process, the more you get out of it.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It must be a struggle for you to try to make sense out of it. You will figure out how to keep that balance to keep her at a distance but yet not cut her off completely. You must find a way to protect yourself and your family.

As far a suicidal thoughts go, most of us have at least thought about the possibility. My favorite quote regarding this issue, I have seen here many times is "Dont use a permanent solution to deal with a temporary problem". Things do get better and I can tell by reading your post that you have a lot to look forward too.

God Bless you David,

Brian

P.S. - I'm in the chat room pretty often (late at night). There is a number of people that use it. However, it is not up and running on a consistent basis.

David,

Well, your post hit some chords with me, i can relate, we got a few issues in common for sure.

I am sorry you had to grow up with those people, they dont sound very helthy at all.

I look forward to getting to know you some, this is a good place, lots of good people here. The chat room is good when it is up, it just is not real consistent.

Hang out a bit and see how the place fits for you, ok?

I am glad your here, welcome, we have been saving a place for you.

John